The Christian view of humanity confounds me. Many people find solace there but I do not. Throughout the bible humanity is a foul and lithesome thing subject to all manner of failings, sin and vice and corruption and well there are seven sins that top the list and everything sort of follow those in the list to some degree or another
But so the point of this is that we are, all of us, just little semi-self-contained chemical reactions running around. Some of us have better plumbing/’wiring’ in our heads which is to say that some peoples thoughts and thought processes are more squared away than others. I am not among this group. My thoughts and thought processes are so screwed up as to be… ummfrightening. I saw this Craig Ferguson show (I love his show) where he had no audience it was an interview style show with Stephen Fry they were discussing this sort of thing. Steven Fry is a distinguished gentleman. They were discussing the idea of being at a party and looking at all the other beautiful people in attendance. Contemplating how nice and tidy their lives must be. How outwardly they seem so ‘pretty and shiny’ and polished their minds must be the same. Then they postulated that perhaps those very same people were looking upon them… Craig and his guest and thinking the very same thing. Craig and his guest were sort of laughing at the very notionbecause they knew the ‘ugly’ truth.
So back to the Christian view. But so if we are all just so ‘ugly’ and sinful, depraved and reprobate… how is it possible to have any self worth or self confidence or respect or esteem or keep from flinging yourself off a tall tall structure of some sort? I fight those voices a lot… only there is no tall anything around here except mountains and they are too gently sloped to provide enough free-fall velocity to deliver sufficient impact to insure a good quick departure. I am a chicken I want out but I don’t want to hurt doing it. When I read about how some people take accidental drug combinations that deliver sweet release… I wonder…
I thought the city was noisy... Living in the country is even more noisy. I have Hundreds of Canadian Geese flying over head honking and squakijng as they go. There must be Ten Thousand frogs in the irrigation ditch all croaking and what ever else they do at the top of their lungs and little bloaty throat sacks. On any given day there can be hundreds of little birds, Robins or small black birds all chirping away... There is an authentic Hooting Owl now and just tonight there a bunch of wild turkeys taken up residence some where near by... and they don't get along with the geese so very well... The Turf wars are noisy. There is also the fire season coming up and the fire suppression helicopters are flying in and sucking up water form the ponds at regular intervals. These are not small helicopters either. I am talking about the Ginormous Sky Crane helicopters.
Back story… I wrote a previous post but it was heavily self censored because as I said it was not coming out in print as well as it was intended. It sounded so profound, but I suspect that it was more of a 'laboratory' profundity than a profundity that could hold up under the weight of the real world.
A reader called me on what was clearly a less than authentic or well executed post and this was my response to her in an email. She encouraged me to post it here. I was a bit concerned about that in as much as it was in an email and I don't know all the ethical rules regarding posts and emails and all that. So here it is… Oh and I did include her comment for understanding of some of the references to stew and I did Dr. it up some for spelling and readability and the like.
This is the comment
Big Geek, it seems like you are playing fast and loose with the semantics of wording.
Acceptance; noun: a disposition to tolerate or accept people or situations.
Tolerance; noun: willingness to recognize and respect the beliefs or practices of others.
I do not believe we are a melting pot at all. If you were to take several different metals and melt them down, the characteristics of those individual metals can no longer be distinguished. They are all blended together.
With people when acceptance and tolerance is used to appreciate the cultural differences between people we are more like a stew. Everyone still seen as individuals appreciating our own cultures and religious beliefs but each new person enhances the flavor and injects all new perspective to the dish.
So pour a glass of white or red wine and enjoy the stew!
This is my response: I have to say I am a little nervous about this... I was informed that she is going to re-comment on it because she love being challenged... I don't know if I should get some Preparation H or Aloe Vera for this.
Quite possibly you are right.
Like I said... it sounded so much better in my head while I was thinking about it than when I got it written out.
I used the Melting pot phrase in as much as it is a phrase that is thrown around all the time. I am not a fan of the phrase myself. It's too "quaint" (I think is the right way to explain how I feel about it.)
I should say that the post was leaning toward what you are about to read, assuming that you choose to read it, but I deleted the bulk of it several times and tried to just state the basic premise with no tonality and color painting. But this is just a whitewashing of the same old problems anyway, so as I said at the very end... never mind.
Now for the RANT
I think that too often cultural differences cause friction and tension that manifests itself in hate crimes and racism and whatever other bad result that comes to mind because so often there is no acceptance of differences. I imagine that religion is a part of it, but anymore everyone seems to be so touchy about their right to Not be offended any more. (See side bar warning) Somehow everone thinks "I have the right to... Insert cause here". There is no responsibility any more to the culture or the society it's all about ME. No one is willing to tolerate anything anymore. Everyone wants their apologies public, meaningless as they are.
The Shiites and the Sunnis and the Kurdish will, in my opinion, never get along with each other and by extension with the rest of the world because they are deeply steeped in their religion. How huge was the up roar over the Danish Comic strip? How often is Jesus slammed, shammed, defiled, mocked,satirized or displayed in an aquarium of urine? Does anyone die over that, did any one burn anything? I don't even think there was a law suit brought by any one. Before you say this about that I know that the wackjob Christian Fundamentalists blow up abortion clinics and that is hate full in the extreme and the Federal building thing in Oklahoma. Fundamentalist religious people are susceptible to that sort of thinking, but somehow I don't recall reading in the bible anywhere, where Jesus says to kill thy neighbor if their theology is mixed up or an irreverent cartoon is drawn by some none believer, and I never read any where Thou shalt blow things up? In general that was supposed to be left to God. "Vengeance is mine sayth the Lord", I think is the line.
This whole diatribe was a result of some news story I heard, about tolerance and quite frankly I have heard enough regarding how we all need to 'tolerate' this or that... shoot now I don't even recall the story. But the world is full of stories where in some "minority" feels slighted, diminished, ridiculed or oppressed somehow and EVERYONE has to accommodate their new "taste contribution" to the stew, especially the Muslims right now. It aggravates me no end that a Muslim family can take a School to court to force a first grade girl to stop using her "Winnie the Poo and Piglet Too" lunch box because there is a Muslim girl in her class who is twisted out of shape about seeing the pig on the lunch box. Unarguably Winnie the Poo and Piglet Too have been a part of American tradition for many decades and is a children's favorite. I still have my daughters Winnie The Poo bed sheets. Sears Makes Plenty of money on that franchise which implies that it is a Huge part of American traditional school age up bringing... but now suddenly Piglet is no longer tolerable because some "new" flavor has been added to the stew, which in my opinion renders the stew bitter and unpalatable, bordering on inedible.
It is my fervent belief that if you decide to move to America you should understand what it is you are signing up for. If you have a belief/idea/thought that is outside the norm it is YOU who has to do the tolerating not the rest of the world around YOU. And if you have a belief that is illegal in this country I feel that if You are moving here and want to BE here You should be resigned to give that up... ritual sacrifice and the like. If you move to any other country in the world, Mexico for example, You have to learn Their language. The Mexican government is not going to have English speaking teachers for your kids so they can understand what is being taught. The Mexican Government is not going to provide you with Korean, Vietnamese, Chinese, Brazilian, Ecuadorian, Honduran or any other of the two dozen or more languages that our government prints driver's license paperwork. YOU better have your papers on you and in order every minute of every day because if you do not and are picked up for even the slightest infraction, even if the infraction is imagined and NOT real you are... well unpleasantness shall befall you in a great hurry and relief is not coming in great hurry. The same conditions exist in any other nation on the planet. I am DOUBLE sure that is the case for EVERY Muslim country like say Saudi Arabia and I am Triply sure about Iran! I happen to know about Korea and Algeria... do not get sideways with those law enforcement agencies!
In the past when you moved to America you wanted to be an American and all that comes with it. You wanted to embrace the culture the holidays including Christmas, the work ethic, the language and… well all else that comes with being an American. If you were going to add your flavor to the stew you didn't do it by JAMMING it down the throats of your neighbors with legal action at every turn. This very much spoils the stew and leaves a bitter taste on everybody's pallet. If you want your heritage on display or preserved You opend a restaurant or a shop or have a festival celebrating Your cultural heritage by INVITING people to Participate. ***I say all that...about the America typified by the industrial age beginning shortly after we finally did away with the natives that were here LONG before we hit the Rock at Plymouth to make some beer because we ran out of water on the boat. Another rant for another time.***
The whole gay rights thing another area where "Tolerance" is called for/demanded. It is something that I am softening up on rather quickly. I have read the bible and So far as I recall there was only one reference to homosexuality, and it was strictly speaking not a very direct reference. I was anti gay marriage for a long time, hanging my belief on the idea that Marriage is a religious thing and that the bible and by extension God was anti gay-ness... I don't see that so black and white any more. And marriage is principally a government sponsored thing anymore anyway. You just have look at the divorce rate to see that. It's been said that Gay people should be able to share in the heart break and misery of divorce as much as anyone else. In general Marriage has become a meaningless institution anymore any way. Which is a shame because many people take it very seriously but not from a religious point of view… I don't think.
SOOoooo...I was trying to change, somehow, the reference to "Tolerance" because in my mind to "tolerate" something is to put up with no recognition or acceptance of differences or respect of any kind because you are forced to by some outside influence, law or threat of harm or terror, to put up with the situation.
When I look up Tolerate I find words like endure and discomfort and bear all of which imply the idea that you would much rather NOT be tolerating this whatever IT is. Tolerate has a much more of a negative connotation and or distasteful word in my opinion. (color painting)
When I look up accept I find words like willingly, approval, favorable all of which implies that this is a softer more fitting/hopeful word for this situation. Accept has a much more positive connotation, again, just my opinion. (more color painting)
But again in the final analysis it was just a whitewashing of this idea/concept any way. It was my feeble attempt to say that if we explained our differences to, say, Osama B. that he would say "OH now I get it, So you're not the Devil. I'm sorry for the misunderstanding, lets have a beer on me... sorry about the whole Trade Towers thing. I had no idea that would happen. I really got my moneys worth out of that little joke didn't I, never mind then." and turn himself in for trial. Aint a gonna happen.
And again like I said at the head of this thing and the post... it sounded so much more profound while I was thinking about it than after I got it written... same with this I guess.
Thank you for calling me on this... It forces me to think through more thoroughly the ideas.
I think that "tolerance" is crap. In out not so brave new world of Enforced Tolerance I find a huge wave of resentment building up and spilling over in lots of places.
From my perspective we should not be teaching and preaching "Tolerance". In my opinion if you are forced to tolerate something it breads resentment. Resentment build and builds and… well explodes in little things like hate crimes and race riots and bigotry and Jihads and lots of other ugly manifestations.
What I feel should be "taught", is acceptance and understanding. Education for understanding and acceptance of one another's differences.
Having said that there are some/many instances where that just does NOT work.
In this multicultural melting pot of a world everyone is just going to have to get over themselves a little bit.
I thought this was going to be such a profound topic… but it sounds ridiculous when I read it. I guess the point of this is that I am sick and tired of Political Correctness and the 'T' word being thrown around like it really means something.
I don't know for sure what women are looking for in clothing but I assumed that they looked for clothing that would minimize bulges and rolls and bumps. I hear that all the time on TV commercials. But I see something totally different. For some time now women have been buying low wasted pants, tight low wasted pants. These pants create the "muffin top" phenomenon. It's the roll that spills out over the top of their pants that are too low and too tight. They bite right in to her hips below the iliac crest. Some women can get away with this because they have a very shallow pelvic bowel. I , rightly or wrongly attribute this fashion phenomenon to Britney Speers. When she had her head shaving psychedelic freak-out. I hoped that she was gone and her hip hugging pant stylings were gone with her. My daughter had a high waste and it was ooOH so Difficult to get her pants that fit even remotely well.
Any way… how is it that women have bought into this fashion trend.
Is it that they have bought into it or is it that like my daughter there is just nothing else because "Fashion Designers", who are designing for their 13 year old shaped gay boy friends, are just not interested in what looks good on women?
I listen to country music. I can say the word country all day long with no thoughts about it but… When the local country music station radio jingle comes on the way they say it with accent or no I can't tell it just sounds like "Cunt tree". I can't not hear/see it, when they say it. I envision a tree not unlike a peach tree with little spherical orby things hanging from its bows. The orby things would be soft fleshy things with labia on one side similar to a peach only real lips and real flesh and… well real peach fuzz on younger less ripe pieces. I can imagine cross and selective breeding for size and color, haired and hairless and every other desirable aspect of a "peach". I just love eating a "peach". I can imagine them engineering these "peaches/sextoys" to live on the proteins and carbohydrates and other "nutrients" found in a load of spluge. There could be sort of a symbiotic relationship thing going on there. The "toy" needs you to "feed" it X number of times a week or a day. I can see women buying similar "toys" off a "Cock tree". These cocks would be genetically designed to live off the absorbed nutrients from the secretions of a woman's vagina. And again they would have to be fed and bathed X number of times a day /week. Ok I hated saying "secretions of a woman's vagina", but see a previous post about the word juice. Vagina isn't even worse. I like the word Pussy a lot. I like eating pussy more. But pussy is just a little less specific for the purposes of this discussion. Is it the Vulva is it the vagina is it both? I sort of think it is both.
They (Scientists/Researchers) are genetically recreating ears and organs and other body parts why not pussy's and penises? I have to imagine if they could grow a 12 inch cock and if it were fully functional and transplantable guys, rich ones at first, would be lined up to be getting themselves one. I suppose that that sort of research is less important than the life saving aspects of re-growing a heart or a kidney… but once that is commonplace the sex organs could not be far behind. I know they are working on the replacement breast and or gene therapy for growing breasts. I imagine that to be after a breast cancer surgery though, not just for larger funbags for your birthday… but still.
I have such a difficult time with that word when it is used to describe the wetness of a woman.
I have yet to figure out a word that I am happy with in that regard.
Nectar seems to pretentious. Wetness to vague. Moisture too insufficient. Humidity even less sufficient but sultry. Juice too much out of a cooked roast or something. Juicy is sort of ok.
I heard some one say "Close the door... were you raised in a barn?
Being who I am it occurred to me that if you were raised in a barn you would be scrupulous about closing the door. In all likely hood if you left the barn door open ever you would get your ass kicked for it.
Then it occurred to me that perhaps they used the wrong phrase there
I don't really pay too much attention to peoples desktops. But the other day I started noticing them. It started when I was walking through the office of a place where I am working and the woman at the front desk... crud I don't even know what all she does she seems to do every thing, has a big splashy picture of what would appear to be a bamboo hut next to a palm tree on a white sandy beach somewhere nowhere.
I my self do not have a back ground. I have a black screen. The icons don't get lost in the pictures and the colors seem brighter that way. Similarly I have just a black screen saver. No splashy aquariums or 3D pipes snaking themselves around the screen, just blank black scren. I have thought about captureing some scarry "Blue Screen Of Death" shot and using that to freak people out. But that really doesn't save the screen so no on that.
I woke up with a portion of a song title rattling around in my head. I am not a big deal song aficionado kind of person who knows all the songs and all the lyrics of every song I have ever heard in fact most songs I hear on the radio I only know the "Weird Al" versions to anyway.
So any way as I was getting to this first part was ratting around in my head… "People living in competition…"
It took me a few minutes laying there to figure out that the next line was… "I don't care if I get behind"
I could hear, far off in the distance the rest of that line… but could not quite get a handle on it.
Another half hour or even a shorty sleep cycle I figured out that the remaining pertinent bit was… "All I want is to have some peace of mind."
Boston tune I think.
Later in the day I "Quit", for the first time in my life, a job of sorts. It wasn't a real job really more like a Mercy Fuck only I was getting fucked and not in the way that I might could like. This "job" was costing me just about as much as it was paying. I was buying the tooling and the materials and spending time there for free when I could have been working at another much more lucrative place. I broke a tool, that I bought, my last.
It snapped and so did I.
Wow I didn't expect to feel so crappy about it after the fact. I felt like such a failure, such a looser. The Voices in my head kept shouting to get back there and apologize for my momentary lapse in sanity and beg for that job back. It's one of three that I am working… now two. It was a situational thing, nothing to do with the guy I was working for ... he is a good guy. In fact I wish I could still work for him weekends or something.
That "job" was robbing me of all my peace of mind.
I wonder if all men are as fixated on breasts as I am.
I am beginning to formulate an Idea about the kinds of breasts you find and where you find them. I was at Walmart/Wallyworld yesterday and a variety of other place. the people, women and by consequence the breasts you see in the different places is remarkable. If you like really colossal large breasts then Walmart is the place to be. Of course the women toting them around are really colossal as well. Although in fairness there are the stick thin heroin addicted types running around as well. Then I was at Big R later. There I noticed generally fit and more average and tougher hard working women. I didn't see any evidence of heroin use or thyroid conditions there. I was at Costco as well. Costco is a broader cross section of a demographic I guess. there also seems to be some lower end gating factor... member ships issues I assumed that I didn't see evidence of heroin use. But there was, at a much reduced percentage than at Walmart thyroid conditions but something I don't see much of any where else very tall women. I am about 6'2" or three depending it i am trying to impress someone. Women well over 5'10" inches some into the 6' range. that is the only place I see them though.
Another reason unemployment sucks... the cronic rejection of applying for jobs or even worse is the even more prevelant the feeling of being ignored completely. There is no more going and meeting a manager face to face for applying for jobs. "That is all handled online now Thanks for asking though." So you go online and apply and submit a resume and wait and... nothing not a thank you for applying not a we aren't hiring right now even just... nothing. It feels like your submission spilled out the end of some network/internet cable some where on to a floor where someone, with a job, wiped it up and environmentally appropriately disposed of it. It worries me that I failed to do something correctly and that the application didnt get submitted or something... you just dont know. That feeling creeps up on you after a while. I worry that the longer I say unemployed the less likely it is that I will get rehired. some how I am no-longer current enough on any level to be worth hiring. It feels like you stop knowing things in general... may that is just me.
This must be what actors who are starting out go through at some level.
It really batters your self... well everything, worth, confidence, (and the dreaded) esteem. It batters your image of your self as a man... cant support yourself let alone a family. I think that most men are very tied into what they do for work as who they are as a person. Question; Who are you... Answer, I am an engineer. Possibly that is because lots of men my self included/especially that is all they do... work at what ever it is that they do.
The weird part of all this as I recall from my econ class, decades ago, that the unemployment rate was supposed to be at or about 10%. I don't recall the whys and therefore's but I recall that figure. And as I understand it the unemployment rate is at or about 9 and some percent now.
1. A. Used as a disparaging term for a Black person: "You can only be destroyed by believing that you really are what the white world calls a nigger" (James Baldwin).
B. Used as a disparaging term for a member of any dark-skinned people.
2. Used as a disparaging term for a member of any socially, economically, or politically deprived group of people.
I really think this definition needs an update. Racism has morphed in to whatever the black person throwing it wants it to mean. If someone, it doesn't matter who or for what real reason, somehow slights a black person that none black person gets labeled a racist. Somehow that just smacks or racism in and of its self. It's as if black people believe that it is fundamentally impossible for every none-black person to not be racist.
I read somewhere a poll where the pollster was asking about the flamboyance of recently more common black names. Shniqua, Lafanda, Laquisha. You know them when you hear them. I don’t recall exactly what the pollster was asking now but it was associated with a blog and the question of the day was the new cultural “Black names”. Ultimately I don’t care one way or another. If I had a company I don’t think I would necessarily object to hiring a person named Lavon or Shniqua. My issue is with Black culture… and I call it Black culture not African American culture. Most of the Black people in America have never been off continent let alone to Africa. Interestingly enough I have. To claim heritage, say African heritage, you should know something about where it is that you are claiming heritage from.
That is to say you should know something about the region or in the case of African heritage possibly the tribe you claim to be from. If you are going to Glorify it so and “keep” those traditions alive and wear the dress of “your people” and name your kids in Culturally relevant names it seems that you should have done some background checking so that you could know where you are from before you start insisting that you are African American. White people as a group don’t call themselves British, Scottish, German, or Irish Americans. By and large we are a mixed lot with no specific heritage beyond European. I think its crap to call your selves African American unless you are fresh off the boat/plane and that by definition means you hold citizen ship from that country first. You are carrying a green card or are in the process of changing to American citizenship. Are you a Citizen of this Country… The USA? If yes than you are an AMERICAN, simple as that. On 911 did you step back and say this is not my fight I am not an American I am African American. I imagine you stepped right up and were angry that you had been sucker punched by Osama. That’s because you are American, not African American. Seems to me that you can’t have it both ways… oh but I suppose being that this is America, like Burger King, you CAN have it your way. I think that is crap.
And another thing about the NEW “African American” handle. How long is that going to last? When are you going to get tired of being called African Americans and change it up to something else? It started as Nigger moved to Negro then, we moved to Colored then Black now African American now it seems we are going back to nigger… Oh wait that’s nigga’ can’t be bothered with finishing the word or maybe its because if it’s not nigger it’s oklike shoot is ok for shit.I am sure there has been a couple more in there that I missed. I did almost forget colored somewhere in there. In all that time how many other people have changed their collective Titles? White people are still White. Mexicans are Mexicans as are Cubans and Porto Ricans… No other group makes as much noise about what they will be called. In 5 years I am sure that we will be calling Black people something else collectively at their insistence and woe be unto whitey who doesn’t keep up. I wonder how that crap gets started any way. Who the heck starts that sort of thing anyway? Some Liberal thinking college professor in Berkley??? Probably a white professor at that feeling all guilty about slavery and all.
Country names in Africa change with the seasons, or who is the most ruthless dictator\General to come into a bigger box of guns than his neighbor. Before I start sounding all “racist” and everything lets define racism shall we. The classic definition is
1: A belief that race is the primary determinant of human traits and capacities and that racial differences produce an inherent superiority or inferiority of a particular race.
I don’t think that really works any more. I do NOT believe that because a person is Black that they are inferior or superior to any other race at anything intellectual physical or otherwise. I will describe myself as a cultural-ist though. I firmly believe that the Black culture has slid down a long ugly slope of degradation. Dr. Martin Luther King did NOT lose his life so that little black kids could walk into McDonalds and intimidate the workers and patrons there by cursing and swearing at every one. He did not die so that Rappers could say Fuck on the radio. He did not lose his live so that black people could call each other niggers. He had a dream. In the nick of case Black people have forgotten he had a dream. His dream was that every man and woman would have EQUAL rights… And he surely did not die so black people could bring freely use nigger. His dream was that All persons of ALL races would be judged by the content of their character not the color of their skin. Black people in general (at least most of those that I have seen lately) seem to have forgotten this simple truth. It’s ok for one black guy to walk up and say “Heyyy M-nigga wassup.” I find it interesting that in much of Black-speak Nigger is one of the few words that gets pronounced most nearly correctly… nigga. Simple words like “ask” are seemingly too tough to get their lips around. Black culture has purposefully set its self apart from the rest of society. If a white person calls a black person a nigga… no matter how cool they phrase it or how deeply correct they speak Black-speak that white person will wind up “living” in several different zip codes and mostly in dumpsters by day break, or at the very least die from high velocity lead poisoning. Black culture seems to be more racist than any other culture. Black people are not “inferior” by race/DNA they are “inferior” by acculturation. I say “inferior” because it seems that the Black culture is purposefully becoming more violent and… well… less smart for lack of a better way to say it. I don’t believe that the Chinese and Japanese kids in school are inherently smarter… their culture (parents) pushes them to be smarter. A Chinese kid is likely to get his ass whipped for not coming home with an A+; where as a black kid is likely to get his ass kicked by his “friends” for getting even remotely decent grades… I have heard taunts like “… what …U tryin’ to be like whitey now Bitch?” Being white is the worst thing possible in black culture.
There is also this issue. Black people are so bitchy and angry at whitey because they were brought here against their will. It seems to me that they might be grateful now. Not for the slavery aspects of their trip here but there are Thousands in Africa that would happily sell themselves into slavery to get to America these days just to get away from all the tribal warfare and genocide going on in the “Mother Country” that they are Oh so very proud of. There are more people sneaking into this country than any other anywhere else on the planet. Today’s Black people are in America and didn’t have to deal with the bureaucratic nightmare that it is to become a citizen or get a green card that any other nationality works so hard to get. They have citizenship and they bitch about it, they want to be paid for it. They want reparations for slavery more than TWO centuries ago!!! My taxes would have to pay for that and I did NOT benefit in the least from any amount of slavery. They have not picked one tuft of cotton and most likely haven't even seen a real living cotton plant. I think that idea of paying reparations is CRAP in the extreme. My personal feeling is this If Black people want reparations they should accept the money as a one-way ticket to Africa and move there. Then they can shut up about how fucked up it is that they were removed from their Homeland so long ago while some General is slaughtering their family and raping their sister or daughter infecting them all with AIDS. I would pay taxes for that sort of reparations payment… Happily. Leave the upstanding hard working Black men and women here to contribute positively to the American culture.
I do NOT say that American slavery was anything less that horrendous. Let’s face it slavery by definition is horrendous. But let’s not forget, as so many of Black people seem to have; Black people are NOT the only people on the planet to be enslaved. Slavery exists to this very day. And White people are equally the victims of today’s slave trade. No one talks about today’s slavery though. That is not the sort of thing that happens in a “modern world”. In history Christians (white people) were slaves and Lion food. Somehow Black people have gotten it into their heads that they are the only people (race) ever in the history of ever to have had the yoke of slavery dropped on their neck. They certainly make the more noise about it and use it to gin up ever more guilt to justify their attitude. “My people suffered so badly during slave days… Whitey owes ME.” Who the heck do you think really built the pyramids? Egyptians? Oh No Not Egyptians… Hebrew slaves, Thousands of them. Way more Hebrew slaves and their slavery lasted for hundreds of yearslonger than black slavery in America. Do you think that the Vietnamese didn’t suffer under Poll Pot and the Comarea Rouge regime? Those that got here to America don’t seem to be sitting around on their collective ass bitching and whining about how the US left their families there to die in 1974… they got their poop in a group and got into business. And before you go screaming about their tax breaks and all the whatnotery surrounding their businesses, let’s not forget about all the anti discrimination and affirmative action programs that have been enacted over the past, coming up on 5 Decades, to help black people get ahead. Did it help? Heck no. Black people are still just too busy being pissed off at “whitey” to do anything for themselves. They still want Whitey to do it for them. White democratic politics is more than happy to oblige. White Guilt, Political correctness. There is more guilt in this country for everything from slavery of 200 years ago (black guilt) to the new environmental stuff (green guilt) Americans are second only to Jewish people in the guilt stakes.
That to me is a Cultural thing. It’s also a Liberal Democrat thing… but that is a rant of a different color, for a different time.
I used to have such respect for the whole of Thomas Jefferson's thoughts and ideas as one of the brightest individuals ever was just crushed when I read this about his thinking regarding the Native American tribes of his time. I was heart broke to read it. It seems that his idea was to get them so deeply in debt to American business they would be forced to acculturate and settle down. It did, however, lay the ground work for what has happened to America today… Get the populace in debt and keep him that way. Then the corporations/Government will have total control of the populace. The Democrats would be so proud to see their work is so deeply rooted in America's history.
There is a trend developing that I hope for and fear at the same time. It sort of started several years ago. Sitting here, the first person that I can recall that is involved with this is Jennifer Lopez. It's no secret that she has a magnificent posterior. And low and behold she is remarkably popular and in no small part for that posterior. Not shunned or marginalized for her shapely ass-ets. No doubt that you have heard the rap tune "I like big butts and I cannot lie". When I lived in a much majorer metropolitan area, magazine racks sported magazines featuring women with abundant posteriors. So by now you are seeing a thread developing here. I am a fan of the pulchritudinous posterior. And while the adjective pulchritudinous doesn't necessarily mean plentiful it sure sounds like it could. Words like bootyliscious are popular now referring to a shapely posterior. There is actually an authentic word for this… callipygous. Not quite the same though… doesn't just roll off the tongue and rappers would have a tough time rhyming with that. If I had my way Cosmo would be shut down tomorrow or be taught that if they want to help women be attractive to men they should be advancing the cause of the bounteous bottom. Interestingly enough the blog I mentioned before (I guess it's no secret that this blogger is a woman) had a similar post now that I think about it. The blogger in question was lamenting the fact that she herself apparently does not have a colossal keister. She had posted a picture of a woman with a remarkable behind. Not one of those Lawyer's Girlfriend's behinds. If women want to know what men want them to look then like they should STOP looking to Cosmo for advice. Cosmo is filled with designer stuff. Designers are mostly homosexual. Nothing wrong about that except that they are designing for their 12 year old boyfriends, not the stuff of heterosexual men's fantasies. If you want to know what heterosexual men want to see in a woman's physique look at a porn star. Good porn stars not skanky Crack addicted porn stars. Much as I hate to say this, look to a Rap Star's music videos. These are women with SHAPE! Lots of Shape! Jenifer Lopez has it. Kate Moss does NOT! In my mind Kate moss, Paris Hilton and Calista Flockheart and her skeletally prominent sisters are the poster children for what is wrong with American fashion and body image. Tyra Banks; tall, one time, Victoria Secret supermodel, has a remarkable figure, and doesn't seem ashamed of it. I think her figure made Victoria Secret what it is today. Tyra had an onstage breast palpation to dispel the myth that she has breast implants. Another tall woman Aisha Tyler laments the fact that she as no behind in a riotously music video titled "Nowassitall". Aisha is a Great comedienne. And the woman's behind for whom the word "Bootyliscious" was coined Beyonce Knowles. Kim Cardashian is in this list of shapely women in pop-culture. Some years ago there was a bit of a splash with the plus size model Emme Aronson. Just try to tell me that Queen Latifa, Cristina Schmidt, Kate Dillon or Chloe Marshal don't make your dick hard. I wonder that the term plus size might be re-written plush size. I prefer the term plush. I mean when you go to buy something that you want to be comfortable you pay extra for the plush. Who wants to lie naked with a scrawny woman? It feels like laying on or next to a bicycle frame not a woman.
This about sums up what this is about sort of… Jenifer Love Hewitt was paparazzi-ed in Hawaii while on a honeymoon vacation. This is a woman who has been in the maxim magazine top sexiest women for several years in a row. FHM magazine even longer. She was caught in what were considered not so very flattering pictures which exploded on the internet and the gossip magazines. She defiantly answered back in this statement but then not too very long after she showed up on 'Shape" magazine's cover reduced (18 lbs) back to a somewhat smaller more Cosmo-esque body shape. I am somewhat disappointed by that. I had hoped that she would, as she admonished young women to do, '…stand strong" against the Size Zero Nazi's out there. Tyra Banks had a similar incident so has Kim Cardashian. I don't advocate that a woman should be overweight, health issues and all, but public opinion should not dictate to a person their shape. I understand that everybody wants to look attractive but by who's standards. And standards change. I hope the apparent current trend of the re-fleshing of American (women at large) is going to continue. There was a hint of that in some Milan fashion show where the judges or some other governing body indicated that the models had to meet some height to weight ratio minimum. This caused quite a stir. Some of these models make Kate Moss look like positively normal. She is NOT normal! Most of these runway models look like they "summered in Auschwitz" while the Nazi's still were still running the place.
I hope that fashion finally pulls its head up out of its ass and realizes what women are supposed to look like… curvaceous and swervaceous. I hope women pickup on this too. I hope it but I fear it at the same time. About the last thing I need is a nation of women running around being all shapely and gorgeous. The only butt I am really interested in, though, is my sweety's butt. oooOOOooo… now she has a Butt, Bountiful and Delicious. I just love her butt and no buts about it!
I didn't mean for this to turn in to such a long winded pontificating treatise about women's shape. But I am apt to pontificate. And as I recently found out I come by that trait naturally. My mother informed me that my father did the same thing.
Oh I almost forgot… what brought this all on was a commercial that I just saw… Reebok is apparently making shoes that will help with your butt and thighs. Yippy!!!
…guess we all know where I stand on the subject of behinds now…
Why is it that if a grown woman is living with her parents or mother somehow she isn't looked upon as a looser? But if a guy is living with his parents; that is about the kiss of death.
Last night I was lying in bed angry and sad and desolate. I started praying and about a moment into that I thought "What is the point of this?" I have blown my last chance with my Sweety and there is no longer any point at all in prayer. Jesus gave me that last chance and I pissed it way. Don't bother Jesus isn't listening anymore. It's the worst thing in the world to lie next to your love and crave their touch but at the same instance feel that if they touched you, you would brush them away for in spite. There is no more helpless place, for me any way, to be praying for a thing, and in the same moment, resenting that very thing.
Unemployment really screws with your sense of belonging and worth. If you have no real job to be at and no rhythm in your days a powerful feeling of inertia can set in. I am busy doing things for people that I think i would normal be paid for but as I said unemployment messes with your sense of worth so I don't ask for pay. I feel that some how if I ask for pay then I am not a goof person or that they will not have me around to do these things. It doesn't take much to push that feeling over the top and have you sitting and trolling the internet for stuff or watching TV or any thing nonproductive. For me its the cold. The cold sets me to doing nothing. I must have frost nipped my hands last year while being macho and riding the motorcycle in the 26 degree weather. My hands start aching so bad at the least drop of the thermostat. And I am being cheap on electricity because I am BROKE and not using the heater. The house stays at about 54 degrees unassisted. It doesn't matter that I am wearing three shirts and a jacket two long under-wares and sweatpants, I am still cold. I just dread going outside. This is what agoraphobics must feel like.
I had an opportunity to observe and 'learn' something about breasts this weekend.
It must be a very strange thing for a woman to have a body part, specifically her breasts, go from a principally recreational and ornamental state to a principally utility state. After a woman gives birth to her baby and decides to breast feed her breasts somehow transform from a sexy private body part to a public concern body part. It seems that a woman's breasts become sort of a 'public domain, topic of conversation'. Every one is suddenly entitled to comment on issues surrounding breast feeding and her breasts in general. Not just specifically related breast feeding questions but general observational questions and commentary about her breasts as well. There is no way, I don't think, that most women would allow their breasts to be openly discussed in mixed company with out they were at an orgy or some other such gathering. Issues of nipple soreness, and nipple size, nipple color, breast tenderness, breast firmness, breast weight and size and milk quantities, how many ounces at a time... left and right... the list goes on.
And now the utility aspect of breast feeding. There is the whole discussion about how much water you have to drink in order to keep up adequate milk production, what foods and or supplements aid in milk production. "I have to pump X number of ounces every Y number of hours so I can have enough for her to feed at the last feeding because I don't produce enough at once for her to be satisfied and sleep the night through." The whole talk really begins to sound rather clinical and dairy related. It takes all the intimacy out of the mother baby relationship. I can see how a woman could begin to feel very much like some kind of milk dispensing machine. Suddenly her baby and her life, at some level, revolve around her breasts and her baby and the milk production for the baby, the time of day and the quantities of milk that she can produce, what she can or can not eat which will affect the milk taste the weirdness of being in the shower and having her milk spontaneously let down or worse yet hearing some other baby cry and spontaneously letting down in public. Having to ware nipple pads to keep her clothing dry... suddenly her breasts are no longer very sexy or intimate or private. They are just inconvenient baby food production units hanging heavily on her chest.
There are laws in some locals regarding breast feeding babies. In some places its is considered publicly ok and others it is not. As for me, I think a woman should be a bit modest about the process. I don't think it is fitting and appropriate to just whip out a boob and feed your baby right there standing on a street corner or on the bus. As much as I am in favor of publicly naked breasts I think that it is still not appropriate to be fully exposed in a fully public place, breast feeding a baby. I guess in my mind it is a private and intimate thing. That is not to say that I think it should be illegal. I just think that a modicum of decorum should be observed is all. Use a blanket to cover up the proceedings. There is the possibility of causing an "Attractive Nuisances" condition. Some poor slob walking down the street might be caught unaware and find him self staring and step off the curb in the a fore mentioned staring unaware state in front of an oncoming bus. I can think of dozens of scenarios like that. Clearly I am conflicted about this. Americans are not yet ready to see naked breasts in public with out some level of shock and distraction. I am very in favor of changing that. It seems only fitting that if men can go around on a hot day with out a shirt women should be afforded the same consideration. Alas, I don't see that happening any time soon.
I can not imagine being involved in the the conversation like that regarding a man's dick. Clearly there is no correlation, but assuming there was for some reason that would be a weird conversation indeed... How big did it get? Did it get 12 or 14 inches long, did it get thick like a can of Fosters Beer? Does it hurt when she gives you head? Is she afraid to let you near her Whonanny with it? Can she get her hands around it... her mouth?
oh and one more thing... Breasts do seem to be getting more "main Stream" that is to say we are seeing much more of them. Watch the award shows and you will see plenty of dresses that expose plenty of breast. Any dress that requires tape to keep it legal is trying to hard. Some day soon, as one-ups-manship creeps along, there will come a day when Jenifer Lopez, or like, will show up with only a skirt and no blouse at all, or just the barest showing of fabric claiming to be a blouse. Stay tuned.
Why is it ok to compliment a woman on her hair... "wow You have remarkably shiny hair" or "That is a beautiful hair style" or "What a gorgeous dress you have on"? But if you tell her she has a shapely posterior or a magnificent pair of breasts you get your face slapped off your head? I saw a woman at the grocery story with a stunning figure, tall and very very busty and very proportional. I was awestruck and very much wanted to say something regarding her appearance, but she wasn't wearing any thing out of the ordinary and didn't have amazing hair or any thing socially acceptable to comment on. So I felt stuck for something to say. I don't think walking up to a stranger and saying "Wow you have magnificent breasts" is going to get you any thing but a harassment charge or some such. Even if you used the no sexually charged 'Breasts' word and not Titts or Boobs. It just cant be done. Men on the other hand. I cant imagine a guy that wouldn't not be um... "flattered" to have a woman , covertly or overtly walk up to him and say "I couldn't help but notice your colossal Johnson there in your pocket, can I feel it?" No man would say no. I can only imagine that it has something to do with predator and prey mentality.
If you could plot happiness and life or living on a graph I wonder which vector would be heaviest. Happiness or living. Would you say that you are alive because you are happy? Or would you say that you are happy because you are alive. The Two are some what different statements. One would seem to say that you are happy that you are not dead. Arguably the better of the two points to be in touch with. The other would be more precarious... you are only alive when you are happy. Being happy takes work if you are not simply happy to be alive. I fear that I am not simply happy to be alive. There doesn't seem to be much point to living and working and "Fighting the Good fight" day in and day out fighting back against the glacial grind of every day living. It seems to me that the happy, fulfilling moments are few and far between and as time goes by they get fewer and further between. I believe that I used to use sex as a way to medicate this malaise away. For a while now I have been white knuckling it and willing my self to believe that things will get better. Then you have days like yesterday. Nothing so very horrible but amazingly taxing. When you go to turn on a light at the switch and you miss the first time then the second time and the third... which brings you to a full stop to turn and LOOK right at the ,now damned switch which you could swear is dodging your efforts, and even with your full attention focused laser like on the , still damned switch, you some how flip it with such a burst of hate and energy that you manage to flip it so that it flips back off. You can almost hear it doing the "Neener Neener" taunt. Days like that really take a toll on your/my ability to be happy. I wonder that your self worth isn't dragged into this sort of maelstrom when you cant seem to get any thing done even something as simple as turning on a light. I know days like that and the often referred to unemployment thing really mess with your head. I did however not medicate in the used to be standard way, No porn... yet.
I used to think about sex all the time and happily so. I beat the typical male average of sex thoughts per minute by at least twice. In my work I was the resident pervert and happily so. Any more I find my self disgusted when I think about sex or sexual things. The very notion of exchanging bodily fluids makes me just sick any more. The thought of part of my body being inside another persons body... it just creeps me out... then my dick get firm and then some how magically it become ok again. I am having a difficult time resolving those disparate thought processes. They come and go in nanoseconds... I am losing it I can feel it seeping out of my soul. My will to live my desire to carry on, its dwindling slowly. My mom said something very similar. She is the APEX of health. None in her world are healthier. Her Acupuncturist and her Chiropractor her Herbalist, they all tell her the same thing... you will live 30 more years. She is 80 now. She screams "NO, don't say that". I am getting to feel the same thing but I don't think I have that fate to look forward to. I abused my body rather considerably in my youth.
Next; I was trolling my favorite blog and she appears to have set up remote surveillance in my head. She was describing the 'voices' in her head. I was floored when I read on her blog the words of the voices in my head. It was a chilling experience. I could not believe it. The "not good enough", "the failure", "the fraud" it was uncanny. I often wonder how it is that no one else can hear what goes on in my head. The voice, that inner voice, is so loud, so constant so critical. I constantly wonder when some one is going to figure me out and then all the cards will fall and that will be that and I will live out my days under a bridge somewhere. I think that being unemployed for so long is making this worse. I am hopeful about two opportunities but I can feel it coming, the We figured you out. We heard the Voices, don't call here again.
Being unemployed for a LONG time really messes with your head... really. This morning I got up to go to work (temporary though it is) at 4:00 am. I thought to my self maybe I will get hit by a truck on the Foggy highway and then I wont have to mess with this again
I had not looked at my blog for a long time. I said some time ago that I am naturally a lazy person but this is ridiculous. Until just very recently I have not been screaming busy... (I am now though and might even get paid for it... accent on might). I read a great book watched a LOT of TV. For those who ware commenting and following I apologize for falling off the face of the planet. I didn't even know I had commentary. I would certainly have been writing more had I known that. Commentary makes this more worth doing... more interactive sort of. I got some very nice comments, Thank yo very much for those... and a spam, never seen that before. Gobs of spam in email but never have I seen it on my unknown blog.
I had a fight with a bout of back sliding... I found my self obsessed with a porn video I saw a Long time ago... some time last summer. I made it a quest to find it again and for a time tried to find a way to down load it. After a few days of that I got bored with that and fell back in line with my sobriety. I have determined, as much as any one can determine what constitutes sobriety for them selves, that my sobriety is not having contact with a woman I had the red hots for for a very long time. I denied it to every one and my self. I "claimed" that I wanted to be "just friends". I had a MOUNTAIN of reasons and rationalizations for the "friendship" but in the end it was not good for me. I hate that I ended it the way I did but now that it has been almost a year and a half or more I cant call and explain myself that would be counter productive and well I don't think I would stay sober after that... better this way sort of. As for Porn... I find my self drawn to it on lonely nights but its boring to me now. There is a draw but its boring and its a time sink. I did find the porn video and I book marked a link to it. I look at the link and sort of now it has become a symbol of what I need to NOT do on the internet.
I have been out of work for something over a year now. I have been picking up odd jobs here and there for friends now and again but by and large there is just nothing going on work wise. I have nearly two and half decades of experience at my profession and I am thinking that I am going to loose all that to a job in a warehouse or UPS or something like that IF I can even get that! I talked to a guy while standing out side the Costco waiting for it to open the other day. He has been out of work almost two years. It seems that in another year or so his social security will kick in. He is in school now but he is "seriously" considering just taking the early retirement thing with the social security and "living small'. I was having panic attacks about winding up homeless which manifest themselves as gagging and retching... most unpleasant.
