Holly Smokes

    Last night I was at my second job and the short of it is that Mr. loop Rope Showed up.

    I could not look at him with out thinking about all the things I wrote about in my posts about Loop Rope...

    I had a big smile on my face the whole time.

    Oh and as long as its my sex addled mind here... there is a commercial playing for a Plasma center here locally... Listen up all you meth heads and dope smokers 300 bucks in your pocket by the end of the week. The commercial is spoken by a guy the whole time but when they give out the phone number its a woman with a sexy voice and I swear she is blurring the line between six and sex purposefully

Sexting

    I would have been a horrible sexter. I would have been crazy for this. I would have been sexting all the time, except that I hate those tiny little key boards and even worse using the numeric key pads to write things. But I would have been crazy even so. I would have had the most in shape thumbs ever. I guess I was fortunate in that regard that I missed the smart enough phone to sext on that is not to say that I didn't do my share of the sexy emails. I Never had a cell phone camera sufficient to send sexy pictures though and taking a truly sexy pictures with a cell phone camera is tough in the best of conditions. It is no wonder that more and more people are getting addicted to sex and porn. Technology makes it oh so very easy and private... right there in your right hand after you have wiped all the goop off.

    I wonder though does it make sex better or does it make sex a let down. On the one hand it would allow for foreplay to last all day long so that when you finally get together you just rip each others clothing off. I like that idea plenty. On the other hand it makes it so ubiquitous that it would get boring after a couple weeks unless you got more and more kinky which ultimately leads to... well it takes you away from the true nature of sex which is supposed to be love. If your focus becomes sex and more kinky sex love can get lost.

    Oh yea what brought all this up... Apple got a patent on a sex filter. I personaly dont think it has a chance. Kids will adopt a new slang to circumvent the filter faster than the filterers can keep up. Sort of like the ebonics and Rap languages were adopted to be able to speak freely in prison and not have the guards understand that you were planning a shanking in the showers after dinner.

Random stuff

    Remember this is National Prostate awareness month… it's Rec-tember.

I was at the book store the other day… I was trolling the magazine racks looking for some computer magazines… I saw a title that mystified me. The title "Glutes". I looked inside. This is a magazine directed exclusively towards the development of a larger ass. This brings a whole new level of uncertainty to the question… "Does this make my ass look big?" How do you answer this now? It used to be simple... "Oh No dear not at all"… now it's a 50/50 crap shoot and you know you are screwed, or not as the case may be, if you goof the answer. Please don't get me wrong here... I likes me the Large Ass!

    It seems the Loop rope people are reading my blog . They have introduced the wife in to the commercial. And they are tying things up around the house. They are also sponsoring a contest. Send in a picture of your worst use of a Bungee cord and win. The local announcer guy was, I believe, intentionally reading the scrip in such a way to make it sound "dirty" ... and said nearly as much after he was done… commenting on how "dirty" the scrip sounded and how much "trouble" he was going to get in if he didn't stop.

    There is a novelty story here in the area that advertises heavily on the radio and they are NOT even a little bit shy about the sexitude of their commercials. I applaud this advertising effort! The commercial goes something like this. Father asks the mother where the back to school list is, he is going to take the kids and handle up on that now. She says it's on a stack on the desk. He picks up a paper and reads from the list.… School Girl Costume, White Panties, hand cuffs, lube… The father clearly knows this isn't "The" list and asks again. Mother tells a story about how much fun back to school shopping was for her when she was a young girl and it brought out her "naughty inner School Girl" and that it was intended to be a surprise for later. Father indicates that he likes where her head is at.

Commercials

    So I am hearing this new commercial on the radio for something called "Loop rope". It is billed as the next big thing to replace the ever so "dangerous" Bungee cord. Durring the cource of the commercial one guy talks to the other. The one guy with experience is telling the inexperienced guy all about the benefits of Loop Rope. He is describing all the places uses it, the truck , on the top of the car, on the RV, In the boat... You can tie things up and tie things down with it. If you have more than one Loop rope you can even make a cargo net... (I loves me the cargo net bondage... insert evil and knowing "Oh yea" here)
Now in my Sex addled mind I am thinking that the Loop Rope people could double their sales if they went a head and added just a couple things to their commercial. When he lists the places you can use loop rope... the Bedroom could/should be nonchalantly slipped in, and where he talks about what can be tied with the loop rope he should say that you can tie anything or anyone up or down. Very simple very subtle.
Now this Loop Rope sounds like the quick and easy way into a homey little bondage scene unlike the Japanese style bondage which is artistic and slow. Japanese kink is pretty and elegant and artistic as is most every thing in Japanese culture. The Japanese are a very kinky lot make no mistake. When there is woman (I assume/hope a woman) dressed in a Catholic school girl uniform all bound and gagged and kneeling in front of a fence post in a perfectly manicured forest of bonsai trees shooting a milk enema out her ass into a perfectly crafted catch basin hand painted with Japanese calligraphy. Probably hand painted by 100 year old blind monk with a brush made from the tufts of hair that cover the hooves of an actual unicorn and ink from made from crushed bits of the one true cross and iron shavings from the Lance of Longinus. Its easy to see the elegance and attention to detail the Japanese bring to their kink, unlike German kink which is just weird and often gross.

    So but like I said I would already have several lengths of the stuff if the experienced guy added to his litanly of things to do with this new handy dandy product tie down his wife/mistress/submissive/slave to the RV or the truck or the boat... but alas the marketing department has no balls.

I really thought...

I thought with all the weirdness you can find on the internet I would find this tattoo.
Written on some Gothic script or other up the inside of a woman's thighs separated by her Ladies Business (LB)
"Abandon all hope (LB) ye who enter here." or possibly on her butt cheeks. I was even going to try to Photoshop-ed something like it together... I spent way too much time looking at Ladies Business pictures trying to find the appropriate L.B. conformation to make the statement. I did not find such a picture. Oh well.
I don't suppose that I would have posted it though even if I had found it.

breasts

I have formulated this ratio... Breasts in the public, that is to say clothed and "holstered" in a brazier are about 80 percent brazier and 20 percent breast.

In general breasts in a bra bare no relation to breasts out of a bra. General speaking cleavage is a bra created phenomenon. There are so many styles of bras and accessories for bras to change or more appropriately enhance breasts as to be staggering. There is the high lift "push up bra" the Water Bra with the little pouch of water hidden in the cups, the Wonderbra apparently conceived on a cad scope somewhere using 137 different panels for the construction of the cups, the padded bra then there is the little chicken cutlet silicon thingies you can buy to slip in to the bra. There is breast tape... the list goes on and on. It seems to easy to have great looking breasts in a bra why then do I see so many women with... ummm.... well... err... bad looking breasts in a bra. The obvious is the bra that is too small and squeezes the breast out the top or the bottom of the cup. I am sorry ladies Boob Splooge is not attractive. The bra that is too large around and fails to support the breast at all leaving it looking like a pita bread with some filling spilling over the top. The bra that is too tight around the chest which causes more of the muffin phenomenon ala tight hip hugger pants. There is the bra that is really just a bra in name only it does nothing what-so-ever for the breast in either support or modesty coverage. These typically allow the nipple to show rather freely. I am unsure how I feel about that. On the face of it I like it plenty... but then it makes me uncomfortable wondering if the woman knows she has her high beams blinding people. And what if she finds out what is she going to do? I imagine there are women who like the idea. I suppose there is sort of nothing to do about it really. I have seen the little silicon nipple inserts for bras. I saw one woman who looked like she could lean up against a half inch plate glass window and cut holes in it. In some communities bras are less worn by women. These are the same communities that don't have too big a market for ladies razors either. I have seen some guys who look like they could benefit from wearing a bra. Bras cover up a multitude of different breast shapes and sizes and homogenize them. I wonder if there are Bra Spotters, like Train Spotters. Guys who are so keen eyed that they can say She is wearing a Maidenform in style X size 34 C or a Bally or a Victoria's Secret or Playtex.

my sex addled mind

I listen to country music. I can say the word country all day long with no thoughts about it but… When the local country music station radio jingle comes on the way they say it with accent or no I can't tell it just sounds like "Cunt tree". I can't not hear/see it, when they say it. I envision a tree not unlike a peach tree with little spherical orby things hanging from its bows. The orby things would be soft fleshy things with labia on one side similar to a peach only real lips and real flesh and… well real peach fuzz on younger less ripe pieces. I can imagine cross and selective breeding for size and color, haired and hairless and every other desirable aspect of a "peach". I just love eating a "peach". I can imagine them engineering these "peaches/sextoys" to live on the proteins and carbohydrates and other "nutrients" found in a load of spluge. There could be sort of a symbiotic relationship thing going on there. The "toy" needs you to "feed" it X number of times a week or a day. I can see women buying similar "toys" off a "Cock tree". These cocks would be genetically designed to live off the absorbed nutrients from the secretions of a woman's vagina. And again they would have to be fed and bathed X number of times a day /week. Ok I hated saying "secretions of a woman's vagina", but see a previous post about the word juice. Vagina isn't even worse. I like the word Pussy a lot. I like eating pussy more. But pussy is just a little less specific for the purposes of this discussion. Is it the Vulva is it the vagina is it both? I sort of think it is both.

They (Scientists/Researchers) are genetically recreating ears and organs and other body parts why not pussy's and penises? I have to imagine if they could grow a 12 inch cock and if it were fully functional and transplantable guys, rich ones at first, would be lined up to be getting themselves one. I suppose that that sort of research is less important than the life saving aspects of re-growing a heart or a kidney… but once that is commonplace the sex organs could not be far behind. I know they are working on the replacement breast and or gene therapy for growing breasts. I imagine that to be after a breast cancer surgery though, not just for larger funbags for your birthday… but still.

All this because they say country 'that' way.