Sexting

    I would have been a horrible sexter. I would have been crazy for this. I would have been sexting all the time, except that I hate those tiny little key boards and even worse using the numeric key pads to write things. But I would have been crazy even so. I would have had the most in shape thumbs ever. I guess I was fortunate in that regard that I missed the smart enough phone to sext on that is not to say that I didn't do my share of the sexy emails. I Never had a cell phone camera sufficient to send sexy pictures though and taking a truly sexy pictures with a cell phone camera is tough in the best of conditions. It is no wonder that more and more people are getting addicted to sex and porn. Technology makes it oh so very easy and private... right there in your right hand after you have wiped all the goop off.

    I wonder though does it make sex better or does it make sex a let down. On the one hand it would allow for foreplay to last all day long so that when you finally get together you just rip each others clothing off. I like that idea plenty. On the other hand it makes it so ubiquitous that it would get boring after a couple weeks unless you got more and more kinky which ultimately leads to... well it takes you away from the true nature of sex which is supposed to be love. If your focus becomes sex and more kinky sex love can get lost.

    Oh yea what brought all this up... Apple got a patent on a sex filter. I personaly dont think it has a chance. Kids will adopt a new slang to circumvent the filter faster than the filterers can keep up. Sort of like the ebonics and Rap languages were adopted to be able to speak freely in prison and not have the guards understand that you were planning a shanking in the showers after dinner.

I have noticed

    I have noticed lately that my bloggy stuff has changed as of late. Where as in months gone by most of my blogs were of a internal personal nature and typically about unhappy sex related stuff. They have now, with the exception of the FFF thing, become more external and less personal.
I wonder if that means that I have turned a corner regarding my issues with sex and addictions and other would be inappropriate things on the internet. I hope so. I feel that this could very well be he case. I know that I don't experience intrusive thoughts about sex during the day. My thoughts are more or less work and living related not sex related. I used to experience very intrusive thoughts about sex and porn all through the day, now not so much.
    I have the occasional flare up to be sure, but they don't last very long and are much lower intensities than before.
    At once I am happy for that and miss the thoughts as well. I suppose that is sort of akin to how a kidnapping victim might feel after their release.

issues of compatibility…

I think that sexual compatibility is the most critical component of compatibility that can be measured. I say measured, I don't know how to measure such a thing but I imagine there are points of compatibility that can be measured or assessed. Are you a kinky person, like porn, and role playing sex games? Or are you a person that thinks kinky is being seen naked in the day light, does not like porn and finds role playing games a ridiculous waste of time and energy? Those two people are likely not compatible. So unless these two are willing to move toward each other in their sexual predilections their relationship is not going to meet the needs of either partner for long.

Sex is unique in the spectrum of human interactive participation… mostly. I say that because there are certainly people that fall outside the scope of the ideas that I am writing about here. In a relationship each partner meets the needs of the other mostly. But in the case that the husband (or the wife) likes to play golf and wife does not then the wife cannot inhibit the husband's freedom to play golf. The husband is welcome to play golf in groups, pairs of foursomes… or more I guess. I don't play golf. The groups might be mixed they might not. The husband is welcome to take magazines about golf. He is likely to buy the accessories to play the game, clubs, bag cart-thing, balls, tees the usual stuff. He might troll the internet looking for more specific tools, accessories, apparatus, videos or books to help improve his swing, posture, grip or concentration. The husband might hire a professional to teach him some of the finer points of the game to help improve his game. That professional is likely to physically touch him in the course of coaching him. In general all this is just fine with the wife assuming that it all falls within the household budget and the time away doesn't leave the wife feeling rejected and alone because he is gone every weekend for hours and hours.

The same ideas apply to a relationship if one partner wants to pursue a hobby in a band, they might even play at local bars or fairs or other social events if they are any kind of good. Again the band might be a mixed group with a woman lead singer or... Or the wife might have a desire for sport bike riding. She is certainly going to buy a motorcycle for this, likely a nice and likely fast one with a good helmet and a husband does not want his wife all covered up with road rash so a leather riding suit is in order. She might go for Track time to learn more about cornering and breaking she will certainly be riding with a bunch of guys. Most anything you can name is ok outside the confines of the relationship if one doesn't care for the activity and the other does. Cooking classes, bicycling, gardening, playing cards, Olympic training the list is just about limitless as long as sex is not involved as the principal activity. An Olympic athlete might be getting massages from an opposite sex masseuse but as therapy that is likely ok.

But when it comes to sex, the brakes lock up, all the crap in the house, err, I mean car, flies through the air, the tires squeal and smoke and everything comes to an abrupt halt. I meant that metaphorically of course. And there are some mitigating circumstances and special negotiated relationships and special people that allow this sort of thing and I don't mean by my choice of words that I am somehow looking down on those individuals. I applaud them for their boundary pushing and courage to explore that realm of relational activity. I was there once… it didn't work for me.

So if the wife of or the husband decides to pursue a sex life as a hobby or a sport outside the marriage that frequently ends the marriage and costs half of the household stuff one way or the other. Just "read the papers". The 'Headlines' are replete with Governors and Mayors and Sports figures and Celebrities of all walks that think that they can get away with it. Just ask Tiger Woods how it worked out for him. In general neither the wife nor the husband is allowed to have sex with another or in groups. They are not allowed to seek coaching from a 'professional' outside the relationship to "improve their game". Certainly medical issues are outside the scope of this post. Some things are sort of tolerated though. Buying magazines is generally tolerated, with an eye roll, Playboy for men, Cosmo for women. Buying sex toys is gaining in popularity, YIPPY! I love me the sex toys. And the sex toys of today are a quantum leap forward from the old ivory colored plastic vibrator of years gone by Let me tell you. I used to make my own because they were too ridiculous to even consider driving to "that side of town to one of those stores". Porn seems to be becoming more widely accepted by women. But any and all of this is subject to approval on the part of both individuals in the relationship which is why it is, in my opinion, vital that they be sexually compatible. Otherwise these little "foibles" have to be kept secret and hidden. In most cases, though, these sorts of things don't stay secret or hidden for long. Musical compatibility, books, food, TV all this can be negotiated, accepted and even appreciated… Sex not as much. If you are predisposed to be a kinky because of early exposure or trauma it doesn't matter, that is who you are and no amount of counseling or treatment is going to change that. It is deeply interwoven into your psyche. I believe sexual proclivities are a level of "traited-ness" one step up from your sexual identity as male or female. Your partner will have to accept and embrace that about you because that is not style trait like music or fashion or sports fandom. It is a deeply seated personality trait and It's not an easily changed aspect of who you are as a person and nor do I believe it should it be called for in a loving and close relationship. That is the sort of thing that should be learned about early on in a relationship so that both parties can make an informed decision about life with the other. I find that the notion of being virgins on your wedding night to be a noble pursuit but not very smart in the overall scope of living a life time together. Who knows what sexual 'skeletons' are likely to pop up and you just know they are going to pop up. I know you have heard the stories of the wife or husband figuring out that they are gay or lesbian or even opposite sex trapped in the wrong body after having lived half a life in a marriage. I don't think I could deal with that so very well. Somehow I "think" that women could deal with that a bit better but this is just me projecting my belief, or more likely my desire to believe, that women are inherently bisexual at some level. I await your letters of outrage and condemnation. But I would have to claim that Porn did that to me… no, I am just kidding… not really… no really.

All that said, It is also vital that you stay sexually compatible with your partner and communicate any changes that start to develop over the years. If you are inhibited from the beginning you are even less likely to communicate changes that occur as time goes by until you are signed up for that sex change and boarding a flight to Thailand to finally meet Dr. Tsu.

Sex and the abyssal of Hell

For me sex is a great and wonderful thing. I imagine it is like that for most people but… for some people it is an addictive thing. Like most any other thing, alcohol or video games or work people can balance that into their live in a healthy way. Some people can not… I can not. If I am left to my own devices I will sit and pursue sex in every way imaginable. I will troll for sex chat at the Yahoo Messenger, I will sit and design then build sex toys, I will troll porn typically starting with artistic nudes and winding up looking at the "farm channel". I would burn down megabit after megabit in down loads of webcam and posted videos. I would sit and read sex blogs endlessly. I would have accounts on most every dating site there is but more likely the more pervy ones… you get the picture.

I found this out the hard way some time ago. I left my sweety and did that what you see above and more. One night I was in a Yahoo messenger chat with who knows what and chatting things that disgusted even me but I was in it till the end… a 3:00 am end, with a 6:00 am wake up time for work. It was at that moment that I realized I had done that for the last three nights in a row and didn't see it stopping any time soon. This was "too" much fun!

The picture that came to mind was me sitting in the front row of the balcony section at a theater with no wall or railing in front and no theater either just the fiery abyss of hell reaching up to me.

… from the previous post… I seem to have a weak sex braking mechanism.

my sex addled mind

I listen to country music. I can say the word country all day long with no thoughts about it but… When the local country music station radio jingle comes on the way they say it with accent or no I can't tell it just sounds like "Cunt tree". I can't not hear/see it, when they say it. I envision a tree not unlike a peach tree with little spherical orby things hanging from its bows. The orby things would be soft fleshy things with labia on one side similar to a peach only real lips and real flesh and… well real peach fuzz on younger less ripe pieces. I can imagine cross and selective breeding for size and color, haired and hairless and every other desirable aspect of a "peach". I just love eating a "peach". I can imagine them engineering these "peaches/sextoys" to live on the proteins and carbohydrates and other "nutrients" found in a load of spluge. There could be sort of a symbiotic relationship thing going on there. The "toy" needs you to "feed" it X number of times a week or a day. I can see women buying similar "toys" off a "Cock tree". These cocks would be genetically designed to live off the absorbed nutrients from the secretions of a woman's vagina. And again they would have to be fed and bathed X number of times a day /week. Ok I hated saying "secretions of a woman's vagina", but see a previous post about the word juice. Vagina isn't even worse. I like the word Pussy a lot. I like eating pussy more. But pussy is just a little less specific for the purposes of this discussion. Is it the Vulva is it the vagina is it both? I sort of think it is both.

They (Scientists/Researchers) are genetically recreating ears and organs and other body parts why not pussy's and penises? I have to imagine if they could grow a 12 inch cock and if it were fully functional and transplantable guys, rich ones at first, would be lined up to be getting themselves one. I suppose that that sort of research is less important than the life saving aspects of re-growing a heart or a kidney… but once that is commonplace the sex organs could not be far behind. I know they are working on the replacement breast and or gene therapy for growing breasts. I imagine that to be after a breast cancer surgery though, not just for larger funbags for your birthday… but still.

All this because they say country 'that' way.

Juice?

I have such a difficult time with that word when it is used to describe the wetness of a woman.

I have yet to figure out a word that I am happy with in that regard.

Nectar seems to pretentious.
Wetness to vague.
Moisture too insufficient.
Humidity even less sufficient but sultry.
Juice too much out of a cooked roast or something. Juicy is sort of ok.

Anyone got something I should consider?

some why's of women

Why is it ok to compliment a woman on her hair... "wow You have remarkably shiny hair" or "That is a beautiful hair style" or "What a gorgeous dress you have on"? But if you tell her she has a shapely posterior or a magnificent pair of breasts you get your face slapped off your head?
I saw a woman at the grocery story with a stunning figure, tall and very very busty and very proportional.
I was awestruck and very much wanted to say something regarding her appearance, but she wasn't wearing any thing out of the ordinary and didn't have amazing hair or any thing socially acceptable to comment on. So I felt stuck for something to say. I don't think walking up to a stranger and saying "Wow you have magnificent breasts" is going to get you any thing but a harassment charge or some such. Even if you used the no sexually charged 'Breasts' word and not Titts or Boobs. It just cant be done.
Men on the other hand. I cant imagine a guy that wouldn't not be um... "flattered" to have a woman , covertly or overtly walk up to him and say "I couldn't help but notice your colossal Johnson there in your pocket, can I feel it?" No man would say no.
I can only imagine that it has something to do with predator and prey mentality.

…still more on breasts

Why are breasts nearly universally appreciated as beautiful? I wonder that it might be some societal thing about "western culture". I wonder that in aboriginal and tribal areas of the world that breasts are not 'worshiped' as much as in America. Some things appear to be universally perceived. Spiders and sharks are almost universally perceived as frightening.

Americans or western cultures seem to be obsessed with larger breasts. Tribal cultures don't appear to be.

On national Geographic Specials of South American Amazonian tribal peoples the women go about without covering their breasts. The men in the tribes don't seem to be very excited about it.

Why do men crave the breasts? Why would an adult man desire to suck a woman's breasts / nipples? That would seem like something an infant would do.

I wonder that I am so curious about this in an attempt to understand the attraction if I could understand it I could be less obsessed by them.