The woman who loves me...

She must be the strongest most patient, loving person, man or woman, ever to walk this planet, with the possible exception of Christ him self. She has tolerated my... "stuff" for YEARS. I love her. I hope she continues to love me, she is so wonderful. She is a blessing beyond measure and a curse. The blessing is easy to see.. the curse... she holds me to a higher standard. She makes me want to be a better man. I am, however, lazy, so its often times difficult. And lets be honest its tough to work along side Wonder Woman and keep up your end.
I read a blog today where in a woman was questioning her relationship with her long time love. It seems he is a sanitation engineer or something blue collar along those lines. His is a good job which pays well with benefits and security. She is an attorney or equal white collar. She has HIGH aspirations and wants more... he is happy. She is wondering if they are going to want the same things soon... At a certain level I wonder/worry the same thing.

the F word

I marvel at the utility of this word. You can use it any where in a sentence or as all or most of a sentence. I also marvel at it widely divergent level of acceptance. In some circles it rather frowned on in others it is revered and used often in others it tossed about like any other bit of trash in the wind. I fell in to using it a LONG time ago and it difficult in the extreme to give up. I think its tougher to give up that smoking.

busy much???

I have in the past been very good at my job but lately I have had my butt handed to me in ways I could not imagine. In some ways I am proud of what I have accomplished and in others I am horribly embarrassed. Its been a very rough year. I have lost two jobs and am barely hanging on to the third. My daughter grew up and moved away after graduating from High School. At this juncture I am reluctant to discuss my love life. It has been up and down much lately. The reasons for the Downs are mostly in MY head. I think that I may hitting the midlife crisis thing head on now. I have thought this in the past but this is worse than any thing I have ever experienced before. I think the job thing has really hit me. I don't feel secure about any thing and my work has always been a source of anchorage in the past. It has given me a sense of accomplishment and pride in my self. I am learning now that you need all those things from with in and not from with out. Because when all all that comes from without it can be taken away oh so easily. I have come into a period of time when I have time again to think and to write. Not that writing has ever really been something I felt compelled to do. I often think about writing a book... a short story sort of thing... likely with Science fiction over tones. Probably not steeped in SciFi as I used to imagine. I have been trolling the internet lately. Initially I started trolling porn sites, but as I have seen most all of what is out there porn becomes boring right away. You can only see so much of it before it all looks the same. I stumbled across this site though which promises to be a real time sink... Instructables. Holly smokes there are some very inventive people out there. In the nick of case you haven't noticed it I am getting much better at not using coarse language. This is something I have been working on for YEARS. I have my daughter to thank for this accomplishment. She 'rode' me incessantly, about my language, and it worked... mostly.

So as to the title of this post for the last couple months I have been working 7 days a week about 12 to 14 yours each save Saturday and Sunday which I tried to limit to about 9 hours each. working sort of... two jobs which aren't really jobs at all. I just work. I occasionally get paid. So any way I have reached a point in the work thing where I have time to think and write. Some years ago I wanted to write a sex blog. I found the Girl with a One Track Mind blog and AAG (Always Aroused Girl) was hooked. Then I found a bunch more similar blogs and thought "I could do that"... but alas no. I did have the life that would have supported such a blog some years before that... and was involved with a woman who would have made it very interesting and FUN indeed to write about such things. Those times are gone now and Its just as well I imagine. I believe that I am something of a sex addict and or a porn addict. So now the title of this Blog Getting a grip is about just that getting a grip on those and other areas of my life and trying to hold on and to become a better person. The previous posts are pretty much not in keeping with that goal really... and much of what comes now will likely not be either but there will be some.

Wetbacks

Before you all start screaming about me being a raciest look this up Operation Wetback. And hey I warned you about offensive stuff.
So how do we get Obama to read this?!? More to the point how do we get him to think that maybe just maybe this could be a good thing for the country. Oh wait that's not going to happen. Mexicans... Illegal Mexicans... are the fastest growing voting block in the nation. What "Politician" in his or her right mind would alienate those people... alienate... interesting word for this situation...

I have LOADS to say about this but not tonight... I suppose an update is forth coming. I hate reading things like this. All sorts of things come up not the least is my blood pressure. And so as not to be ambiguous about this... Illegal boarder crossing is illegal! If I have to worry about running an Amber light with photo ticketing Javiere should have to worry about his citizenship his true citizenship. Senators and Governors and Mayors all work on behalf of the illegal immigrant enacting laws that fly directly in the face of federal law and looking the other way when Federal laws are broken. Man I hope I have Governors and Senators and Mayors working on my behalf if I ever get crossways with a federal law. Not a chance of that.

Don't think I have no empathy for Mexican people at large. This is not a race issue... its a lot of issues. Mostly I think that Mexicans are great people. The Mexicans I know personally I hold in High regard personally, professionally and any other ...ly you might think of. It gets on my last nerve though when I read about Gangstas... cant even be bothered to say the word properly... go around shootinig up the schools and kids in them over turf wars... turf they DON'T OWN! I used to do drugs so I have contributed in some real sense to this problem.

I am starting to ramble with no real sense of order or direction to this post. I will have to write this up and post it another time.

I have found writing to be a very effective tool to organize my thoughts. It takes a while... So I will be working on this... maybe. Its a highly contentious and controversial issues which I am not likely to solve and in general no one is going to care even a little one way or another about my "well concidered " opinions on this so there is no reason to really but so as to clear it up in my own mind I will (might). That is in fact one of the reasons for the blog.

It took a while but I hammered out my thoughts on abortion this way some years ago.

Royalties are crap!

I was reading about this Kindle II thing being made and sold by Amazon. It seem that they have a cool feature... Text to Speech... in this hand-held device. Now it seems that Authors are getting all in an uproar about copy right infringement. I think that this is a load of crap.
I make things for a living. I make prototype models. I design and make parts for a wide variety of applications. Do I get a royalty every time some one uses the part? Do I get paid every time some one looks at the part... picks it up? NO, NO and NO! I get paid to make the part... the end. BUT some how "artists" musicians, actors, authors... and their attorneys... have created this system where in they get paid ever time one of their songs is heard, movies are seen, or books are sold. They got paid to make their product and now they get paid again and again and again? How is that right? It's not like musicians or actors or writers don't make enough money to produce their product... 20 Million Dollars to spend 3 months of your life making a movie? There is no way one person's time can be worth 20 million for three months work... no way. I understand that this is an economy of scale. LOTS of people will listen to the song, see this movie or read that book. It is ridiculous and I don't mean that the way they sling it around on "So You Think You Can Dance" to use hip speak.
Oh and in case you think I forgot about ball players; baseball, basketball, football... NO I haven't! If any one deserves a major league ball players salary its the Military or Firemen or the Police! Any persons job that has the possibility of dieing on the job written in to the job description. But then we couldn't afford that could we?