Random stuff

    Remember this is National Prostate awareness month… it's Rec-tember.

I was at the book store the other day… I was trolling the magazine racks looking for some computer magazines… I saw a title that mystified me. The title "Glutes". I looked inside. This is a magazine directed exclusively towards the development of a larger ass. This brings a whole new level of uncertainty to the question… "Does this make my ass look big?" How do you answer this now? It used to be simple... "Oh No dear not at all"… now it's a 50/50 crap shoot and you know you are screwed, or not as the case may be, if you goof the answer. Please don't get me wrong here... I likes me the Large Ass!

    It seems the Loop rope people are reading my blog . They have introduced the wife in to the commercial. And they are tying things up around the house. They are also sponsoring a contest. Send in a picture of your worst use of a Bungee cord and win. The local announcer guy was, I believe, intentionally reading the scrip in such a way to make it sound "dirty" ... and said nearly as much after he was done… commenting on how "dirty" the scrip sounded and how much "trouble" he was going to get in if he didn't stop.

    There is a novelty story here in the area that advertises heavily on the radio and they are NOT even a little bit shy about the sexitude of their commercials. I applaud this advertising effort! The commercial goes something like this. Father asks the mother where the back to school list is, he is going to take the kids and handle up on that now. She says it's on a stack on the desk. He picks up a paper and reads from the list.… School Girl Costume, White Panties, hand cuffs, lube… The father clearly knows this isn't "The" list and asks again. Mother tells a story about how much fun back to school shopping was for her when she was a young girl and it brought out her "naughty inner School Girl" and that it was intended to be a surprise for later. Father indicates that he likes where her head is at.

One of my favorite jokes

A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college.

There was no shortage of young, idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major and asked,

"Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?"

"Negative, ma'am. Just serious by nature."

The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, ''It looks like you have seen a lot of action?''

''Yes, ma'am, a lot of action."

The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, "You know, you should lighten

up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself.

The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner.

Finally, the young lady said, "You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when was the last time you had sex?"

"1955," he replied.

"Well, there you are. No wonder you're so serious. You really need to chill out! I mean no sex since 1955!"

She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to 'relax' him several times. Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest and said, "Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1955."

The Sergeant Major said in his serious voice, after glancing at his watch, "I hope not; it's only 2130 now."

(Gotta love military time)

Where I live... lived

    Its that time of year again. The Geese are flying south again, honking as they go. I don't know why but I love that sound. I live in the bottom of a valley floor but can hear them and see them flying to where ever it is that they are off to. From a friends home up the valley wall a bit you can see across the whole valley. From there you can see many flights/chevrons of geese flying. To me its a magic feeling to see them all strung out in lines.

    I know that there is plenty of high end aerodynamics going on with them... who is in front and for how long and the ones that follow follow at a precise angle and distance so as to maximize some lift potential created by the disturbance caused by the bird ahead. It seems also that since the lead bird is experiencing the maximum drag he/she stays there for some period of time, determined by them I suppose, then falls off to the back of the line to rest and to work their way back up to the lead again, amazing, magic.

Danceing with the...

    As she twirls and whirls about the floor waiting for her partner to arrive my mind burns with a desire that is difficult to resolve. At once I want to see her perform her dance with all the passion, grace and fire that she embodies but that same passion, grace and fire ignites a lust and passion and desire in me that I find difficult to manage. Her body moves with a sexy precision that creates such a deep lustful desire to capture her and experience awesome pleasure that her body could undoubtedly deliver. I imagine seeing her move through her set naked… for an audience of one… is almost too much for this setting.

    To entertain this thought more than this moment would also carry the implication that I was some how her equal or that she could some how entertain similar thoughts or desires for me, a most unlikely possibility.

    To in anyway consider fulfilling this fantasy would burst the gossamer bubble that surrounds her and the moment would vanish like so much smoke in a wind. The fantasy and the lust of the imagination in this situation are but smoky vapors when exposed to the reality of life.

    The studio door opens… pop goes the bubble.

Commercials

    So I am hearing this new commercial on the radio for something called "Loop rope". It is billed as the next big thing to replace the ever so "dangerous" Bungee cord. Durring the cource of the commercial one guy talks to the other. The one guy with experience is telling the inexperienced guy all about the benefits of Loop Rope. He is describing all the places uses it, the truck , on the top of the car, on the RV, In the boat... You can tie things up and tie things down with it. If you have more than one Loop rope you can even make a cargo net... (I loves me the cargo net bondage... insert evil and knowing "Oh yea" here)
Now in my Sex addled mind I am thinking that the Loop Rope people could double their sales if they went a head and added just a couple things to their commercial. When he lists the places you can use loop rope... the Bedroom could/should be nonchalantly slipped in, and where he talks about what can be tied with the loop rope he should say that you can tie anything or anyone up or down. Very simple very subtle.
Now this Loop Rope sounds like the quick and easy way into a homey little bondage scene unlike the Japanese style bondage which is artistic and slow. Japanese kink is pretty and elegant and artistic as is most every thing in Japanese culture. The Japanese are a very kinky lot make no mistake. When there is woman (I assume/hope a woman) dressed in a Catholic school girl uniform all bound and gagged and kneeling in front of a fence post in a perfectly manicured forest of bonsai trees shooting a milk enema out her ass into a perfectly crafted catch basin hand painted with Japanese calligraphy. Probably hand painted by 100 year old blind monk with a brush made from the tufts of hair that cover the hooves of an actual unicorn and ink from made from crushed bits of the one true cross and iron shavings from the Lance of Longinus. Its easy to see the elegance and attention to detail the Japanese bring to their kink, unlike German kink which is just weird and often gross.

    So but like I said I would already have several lengths of the stuff if the experienced guy added to his litanly of things to do with this new handy dandy product tie down his wife/mistress/submissive/slave to the RV or the truck or the boat... but alas the marketing department has no balls.