So I watched the sex-rehab show today and have lost a great deal of respect for staff. Not so much Selma but for Dr. Drew and the people watching the daily video taken. And they surely are watching this footage. Somehow I think that they should have seen this or something like this coming. ALL of the staff should have been involved in meetings about the progress of the patients. Kari's behavior would surely have been at the top of that list of things to discuss. Selma should have A: received some more coaching or counseling as to how to handle extremely resistant patients. B: been replaced as the "ward nurse" for a period of time or the remainder of the show before this situation escalated to the level of termination. C: been told to walk away and report any and all of Kari Ann's offensive behavior. At the very least the Dr.'s should have been on Kari Ann before they had to fire someone because of her problems. I saw this coming and I am no professional.
This form of acting out must be a coping mechanism that Kari Ann developed long ago when she was being abused. I believe that Kari Ann has employed this mechanism before, and effectively. Kari Ann pushes and pushes and pushes anybody that get's 'in her face', until that person father, boyfriend, teacher, anyone calling her to be responsible or reasonable, just gives up and goes away or retaliates. If they go away go away she doesn't have deal with the person in her face or be responsible. Problem solved. If the person retaliates she can claim to be the sympathetic victim and those around her will lavish her with sympathy, love and attention which she craves. The person in her face is goes away… again, and again, she no longer needs to deal with the person in her face or her responsibilities. And again problem solved. With her looks and the sweet charm she can affect this is a perfect mechanism for her to employ.
I was sort of hoping to get some tools that I could use to work through my addiction from this show. This is not one of them. I am beginning to think that the only thing I will get is irritated. Last week Kari Ann seemed to be on the verge of getting a grip on her pathology. Her Perfect smile cracked… a bit. That progress seems to have evaporated.
Don't get me wrong about her. I feel for her pain, I do. But I don't think she does. But maybe she can't… yet. I hope she can snap into it soon before I have to quit watching.
I think Kari Ann should read the list from my previous post. I imagine she has participated in all or most of the list. I know I have. Speaking of that list I found that on a Polyamory FAQ page while I was investigating sexual dysfunction. I was stunned by how much of the list I had mastered Long ago. And am embarrassed by how much of it I still use. Those tips work, I promise. By employing them myself I managed to destroy my marriage, cripple my life and definitely impact my daughter's life in a very negative way. If this were a computer game I would have the HIGH score. I thought I invented some of that stuff. Particularly 2, 3, 4, 7 and 8. I am personally employing strategy 7 just now. I can see it happening. I know it's counterproductive in the extreme. It feels like I am trapped, riding along inside some another body. I don't want to be doing this but I can't find the over ride button or the eject handle.
I have been reading about sexual anorexia. Holly smokes maybe this fits me better. I am beginning to sound like a hypochondriac. But the fear of rejection and criticism line nails me. It is excruciating.
Is there a sexual bulimia?
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