How porn can re-wire your brain… short term and long term.
In the short term I noticed one day after an afternoon of watching porn, some good some crappy, that I went into the world with a skewed view of things. I went to the Home Depot and when checking out with a rather attractive woman checker I found these thoughts running through my mind… Wow I wonder what she looks like naked. Is that a pucker in her shirt or are those her way large hard nipples. Are her nipples hard because she thinks I am hot? Is she going to ask me if she can suck me or me to suck her. And the thoughts all raced through my mind with appropriate video accompaniment of the imagined possible scenes. I kept waiting while she was ringing me out… then the credits… "Have a nice day and thank you for shopping the Home Depot"… Nothing… what a letdown.
Long term: it can give you a twisted view of what sex and lovemaking can or should be like. On occasion Hot steamy sex can be this way but in general it is not. These are paid professionals with proper lighting, direction, make up, proper shot angles and most of all editing. It can also fill your head with a lot of things that don't translate into reality very well. All those slick exotic positions look new and exciting on camera but a steady diet of that sort of thing… you had better be a yoga practitioner. Most of these women are more limber than most because that is their job Most of these guys look great because they are paid to. When you are paid to sit at a desk and file reports or some such you have to make time to go to the gym and PAY to look like that. Similarly these situations while sexy and fantasy stuff are not likely to be what you really want. No woman wants to be raped… but the notion of being so attractive to a man that he "loses control" and must have you now is an attractive one. And the idea of a recently unemployed 20 something building contractor stud showing up at a Cougar party with "pizza delivery" is interesting but I don't see Cougars sitting around eating pizza. They hang out in Martini bars.
There is a scene in one of my ALL time favorite movies, "BrainStorm" where a lab assistant has made a loop of an orgasm scene and apparently has been locked in his basement playing this looped bit of 'tape' for what sounds like three days. When he has the 'helmet' removed he is crushed by the return to reality. The subsequent difficulties have him being discharged and put in disability of "…inderterminent duration". In effect he had some sort of psychotic episode in connection with this event. At a certain level I believe that this is possible watching porn movies for some people. They get hooked their minds get re-wired to desire the notions and the ideas and the sex in porn but it is just not reality. I believe that it can become difficult thing to keep the two separate for some people. Perhaps not keeping them separated but keeping an understanding about what a real sex life is about and what porn is and wanting that level of a sex life with no consideration for work or chores or children or the desires of my partner or this or that or the other. I think I am one of these people.
I have said this many many times and I still believe it; if you and your partner are equally interested in porn then it can possibly work, but if one is and the other is not I believe porn will become a source of friction that will be difficult to overcome in a relationship. Similarly if you don't have some psychological braking mechanism in your head about porn, it can take you down the path that cocaine and meth and crack can take you down. If you keep watching and keep watching it desensitizes you to what comes next, the next big thrill. But I know that there are some people who can watch porn and not be "hooked". Just like there are peop-le who can have A glass of wine in the evening without drinking the whole bottle then moving to the Vodka. This is why I label myself as a sex addict. I have often wondered what goes on in the heads of people who start using coke and then windup snorting their possessions and their families, their health and their lives away. Didn't they see any of this coming at them? At some point didn't they say Damn that boat I just sold, to pay for my coke habit, was the last straw… NO MORE!
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Have you ever watched Friends? It was a show on NBC. Well any way it had an episode where the guys stumbled across the fact they were receiving free porn. As the episode progressed they became obsessed with watching it.
At one point in time they had some pizza delivered and Joey says, “She didn’t even ask about seeing the apartment and she didn’t start taking her cloths off.” This is when they decided it was time to turn the porn off.
When you start looking at normal activities and expecting sex to result from them then yes porn has clearly become to much a part of your life. While NBC barley broached the subject in a serious manner the episode stuck with me. It definitely made me think how easy it is to allow curiosity and the safety of anonymity to suck you in.
From the safety of our living room we can be anyone, say anything and behave in a manor that we would not typically behave in. It can be fun an exhilarating. I can see the slippery slope argument and can agree whole heartily how easy it is to fall victim to such an intriguing world of opportunity to explore ones own sexuality.
(A side note: As someone whom can so easily fall victim is writing/blogging about sex and the like such a good idea?)
To the note...
I have wondered about that a lot.
There is is an event horizon to be sure. I have slid slightly over it a couple times here and in reading other sex based blogs... but, and I don't mean this to sound like a renationalisation, at some level I think that if I become more familiar with the "edge of the slope" I can more easily see it for what it is and turn away. I have started several posts that I initially thought were good ideas... sexy stories and the like but then deleted them because they took me over the edge.
... more to the note.
As it is, and I know this is going to sound hoaky and trite, but I read your blog and Fruits blog for the interesting ideas and discusions. I know that sounds like, "I look at Playboy magazine for the articles." But in truth the sexy stories are more like the pictures in Playboy and the meaty things that you say are why I read... thought provoking insightful and helpful. I don't want to say I find the stories uninteresting but I don't read them. the List from "The woman Cums First" a list I have known of and practiced for something over a decade.
the mind is everything; what you think, you become
Watch your thoughts; they become your words.
Watch your words; they become your actions.
Watch your actions; they become your habits.
Watch your habits; they become your character.
Watch your character; that will become your destiny.
Currently that is a frighting thought. I think I am a horrible scumbag of a person and and that my Fuckedtitude knows no bounds.
I have slipped.
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