Friday, March 5, 2010

more on unemployment part deaux

Unemployment really screws with your sense of belonging and worth. If you have no real job to be at and no rhythm in your days a powerful feeling of inertia can set in. I am busy doing things for people that I think i would normal be paid for but as I said unemployment messes with your sense of worth so I don't ask for pay. I feel that some how if I ask for pay then I am not a goof person or that they will not have me around to do these things.
It doesn't take much to push that feeling over the top and have you sitting and trolling the internet for stuff or watching TV or any thing nonproductive. For me its the cold. The cold sets me to doing nothing. I must have frost nipped my hands last year while being macho and riding the motorcycle in the 26 degree weather. My hands start aching so bad at the least drop of the thermostat. And I am being cheap on electricity because I am BROKE and not using the heater. The house stays at about 54 degrees unassisted. It doesn't matter that I am wearing three shirts and a jacket two long under-wares and sweatpants, I am still cold.
I just dread going outside.
This is what agoraphobics must feel like.

No comments: