Happy Shiny people?

The Christian view of humanity confounds me. Many people find solace there but I do not. Throughout the bible humanity is a foul and lithesome thing subject to all manner of failings, sin and vice and corruption and well there are seven sins that top the list and everything sort of follow those in the list to some degree or another

But so the point of this is that we are, all of us, just little semi-self-contained chemical reactions running around. Some of us have better plumbing/’wiring’ in our heads which is to say that some peoples thoughts and thought processes are more squared away than others. I am not among this group. My thoughts and thought processes are so screwed up as to be… umm frightening. I saw this Craig Ferguson show (I love his show) where he had no audience it was an interview style show with Stephen Fry they were discussing this sort of thing. Steven Fry is a distinguished gentleman. They were discussing the idea of being at a party and looking at all the other beautiful people in attendance. Contemplating how nice and tidy their lives must be. How outwardly they seem so ‘pretty and shiny’ and polished their minds must be the same. Then they postulated that perhaps those very same people were looking upon them… Craig and his guest and thinking the very same thing. Craig and his guest were sort of laughing at the very notion because they knew the ‘ugly’ truth.

So back to the Christian view. But so if we are all just so ‘ugly’ and sinful, depraved and reprobate… how is it possible to have any self worth or self confidence or respect or esteem or keep from flinging yourself off a tall tall structure of some sort? I fight those voices a lot… only there is no tall anything around here except mountains and they are too gently sloped to provide enough free-fall velocity to deliver sufficient impact to insure a good quick departure. I am a chicken I want out but I don’t want to hurt doing it. When I read about how some people take accidental drug combinations that deliver sweet release… I wonder…