The woman who loves me...

She must be the strongest most patient, loving person, man or woman, ever to walk this planet, with the possible exception of Christ him self. She has tolerated my... "stuff" for YEARS. I love her. I hope she continues to love me, she is so wonderful. She is a blessing beyond measure and a curse. The blessing is easy to see.. the curse... she holds me to a higher standard. She makes me want to be a better man. I am, however, lazy, so its often times difficult. And lets be honest its tough to work along side Wonder Woman and keep up your end.
I read a blog today where in a woman was questioning her relationship with her long time love. It seems he is a sanitation engineer or something blue collar along those lines. His is a good job which pays well with benefits and security. She is an attorney or equal white collar. She has HIGH aspirations and wants more... he is happy. She is wondering if they are going to want the same things soon... At a certain level I wonder/worry the same thing.

the F word

I marvel at the utility of this word. You can use it any where in a sentence or as all or most of a sentence. I also marvel at it widely divergent level of acceptance. In some circles it rather frowned on in others it is revered and used often in others it tossed about like any other bit of trash in the wind. I fell in to using it a LONG time ago and it difficult in the extreme to give up. I think its tougher to give up that smoking.

busy much???

I have in the past been very good at my job but lately I have had my butt handed to me in ways I could not imagine. In some ways I am proud of what I have accomplished and in others I am horribly embarrassed. Its been a very rough year. I have lost two jobs and am barely hanging on to the third. My daughter grew up and moved away after graduating from High School. At this juncture I am reluctant to discuss my love life. It has been up and down much lately. The reasons for the Downs are mostly in MY head. I think that I may hitting the midlife crisis thing head on now. I have thought this in the past but this is worse than any thing I have ever experienced before. I think the job thing has really hit me. I don't feel secure about any thing and my work has always been a source of anchorage in the past. It has given me a sense of accomplishment and pride in my self. I am learning now that you need all those things from with in and not from with out. Because when all all that comes from without it can be taken away oh so easily. I have come into a period of time when I have time again to think and to write. Not that writing has ever really been something I felt compelled to do. I often think about writing a book... a short story sort of thing... likely with Science fiction over tones. Probably not steeped in SciFi as I used to imagine. I have been trolling the internet lately. Initially I started trolling porn sites, but as I have seen most all of what is out there porn becomes boring right away. You can only see so much of it before it all looks the same. I stumbled across this site though which promises to be a real time sink... Instructables. Holly smokes there are some very inventive people out there. In the nick of case you haven't noticed it I am getting much better at not using coarse language. This is something I have been working on for YEARS. I have my daughter to thank for this accomplishment. She 'rode' me incessantly, about my language, and it worked... mostly.

So as to the title of this post for the last couple months I have been working 7 days a week about 12 to 14 yours each save Saturday and Sunday which I tried to limit to about 9 hours each. working sort of... two jobs which aren't really jobs at all. I just work. I occasionally get paid. So any way I have reached a point in the work thing where I have time to think and write. Some years ago I wanted to write a sex blog. I found the Girl with a One Track Mind blog and AAG (Always Aroused Girl) was hooked. Then I found a bunch more similar blogs and thought "I could do that"... but alas no. I did have the life that would have supported such a blog some years before that... and was involved with a woman who would have made it very interesting and FUN indeed to write about such things. Those times are gone now and Its just as well I imagine. I believe that I am something of a sex addict and or a porn addict. So now the title of this Blog Getting a grip is about just that getting a grip on those and other areas of my life and trying to hold on and to become a better person. The previous posts are pretty much not in keeping with that goal really... and much of what comes now will likely not be either but there will be some.