My Stuff - "The Family" The real F word

    This is about Family and why I gave up on Family and declared Family to be the second " F " Word. The worse of the two F words.

    This is a small part of the LONG Ugly story about how my fiance's daughters plundered my house and my life while laughing the entire time. I will on occasion be adding to this post. This is mostly for my own clarifying of the past, assuming that I ever see fit to do that anymore than has been done here.

    I have on Many, Many occasions I have been asked to forgive L1. I have been told again and again how my hating and not forgiving L1 is like me drinking poison, in the hope that L1 will die. But on one has  advocated for me and asked L to forgive me and return to me the ONE AND ONLY THING I wanted as a reminder of P. The same holds true P's other daughter L2. I get it that L1 isn’t drinking the poison of un-forgiveness because she feels nothing, no remorse, no responsibility, no guilt. Not for the $3000.00 dollars in tools that L1 stole. Not the $7000 engagement ring that Lisa stole. Nor my portion of the $800 dollar table and chair set that Lisa stole. Nor my portion of the $3000 leather sofa that Lisa stole. Not the thousands of dollars in Fine Lingerie that I purchased for your sister that L stole. Not the $7000 that I paid to move to T, so that P could be nearer to Her family nor the $7000 I paid to move to Oregon to pursue ‘The Business’. Not the $900 for her emergency oral surgery when she had a Massively abscessed tooth. Not my portion of the $5000 pool table that L destroyed. L seems to have it in mind that everything that I gave your sister, or paid for, for your sister has somehow been magically transferred ownership to L. And L ignores every financial contribution that I ever made to P. And as long as we are talking money what about the $450,000 that I just gave to P. The $125,000 as an initial buy in to ‘The Business’, that I raided my IRA for. Or the $25,000 for a failed Business show in Las Vegas and the $350,000 that P simply made Disappear. That being in increments of $115,000 at a time for continued Business money X3, which was Bull Shit. L seems to think and believe wholeheartedly that everything in your P's life was bought and paid for by P, EVERYTHING. I made your P whole on so many things that P paid for initially.  And as I go about my life, I keep seeing things missing from MY home that L stole from ME. Goofy shit like a red glass vase that I bought for P with Valentin’s day flowers in it numerous dumb ass shit like that that has little or no monetary value but…

    I know how this looks, me being petty and citing money matters. But they are significant money matters. I understand NOW why you should NEVER EVER mix finances with Love. The only reason I dredge up the financial aspect is as I pointed out above all that I wanted was the music box that I made for P.

    

    I reached my limit of patience some months ago with 'The Family' and how I came to be cast out of 'The Family' and my perceptions of having been cast out of 'The Family'. I assume you know that the principal focus my frustration is leveled at L1. ‘In the Beginning’ L1 hated me. She accused me of taking up with P for financial gain. [Given what you read above that is a laugh] L1 accused me of hanging about with P like a lost puppy. I don’t know, but I absolutely believe that I was the wedge that drove L1 and P apart so dramatically for such a long time. 

    L1 suddenly and with preamble or warning turned up Hating not only my self but her own mother, P

    Then at some point, I believe that when P and I moved T and started ‘Helping’ L1 financially and housing her offspring helped smooth things over. Suddenly I was an ok guy, barely. I had not changed. I was still not a leach on your sister’s financial situation, nothing changed. And then after P died and I went against L1’s desire to be first into P’s office I became the Devils fuckoff red headed bastard step-nephew thrice removed. When we excavated P’s things from 'The Business' warehouse and moved them to a U-Rent-M storage facility MANY of my possessions got wrapped up in this process. When I went to retrieve My possessions from the U-Rent-M storage facility L1 had denied me access to MY things. 

    Several things occurred over that summer and in to the fall between L1 and me. As you may recall I spent most of that summer in and out of psych wards all across O. At some point during this time L1 petitioned for and was granted open door unfettered access to my home for the purposes of retrieving the things that L1 and L2 deemed to belong to P and by extension the both of them. This occurred while I was interred psych ward #1. On the day that I was returned home from psych ward #1 L1 and L2 showed up on my doorstep with ‘warrant’ in hand and L1 and L2 proceeded to RANSACK my home plundering it of ALL things related to P and MANY things NOT related to P. L1 and L2 were Laughing all the while this was going on. Due in no small part to their laughing while plundering my home, at some point during this process, I became suicidal yet again, called the psych people and was taken away in handcuffs to psych ward #2. L1 stayed in my home and continued to plunder my home even after I was hauled away in handcuffs in the back seat of a police car. L2 had the common courtesy to stop the plundering while L1 did Not. And because I am STUPID, I managed to forget my keys which fell into L1’s hands. With keys in hand, she plundered EVERY storage shed and locked everything on MY property. She took from me things that were left by to me MY mother and my father. When I returned home from that month-long stay at psych ward# 2. I was locked out of my home and my cat was locked in with NO food or water. Upon finding my home, STEAM CLEANED all things related to P and many of MY things and furniture. I was off to psych ward #3 for another month. When I returned, I had to break a window to get in. At some point during this ‘Summer of love’ The dispossession of P’s cremains was apportioned out. I had received my portion of her cremains. I sat with them for some period of time, but at some point during this time I came to feel that I might be able to gain back some small level of ‘Family credit’ by returning to L1 my portion of P’s cremains. I delivered P’s cremains to L1s M attorney to have him send them to L1. Upon receipt of P’s cremains. L1 railed on about how “I” had somehow Personally flown to T and Personally and deliberately left them in the middle of GV Drive in the Middle of a T Sized rain storm where upon P’s cremains were washed down the street forever depriving L1 of said cremains and desecrating the memory of P.  After much thought I had determined that the ONLY thing I wanted back was a music box that I had made for P. The only thing out of ALL of the Improperly Plundered things taken from my home while I was NOT IN MY HOME was That music box. I asked T [P's sister] about that music box. T indicated that L1 had All of My stuff separated out in the sun room for whatever reason. That reason, I believe was so that she could clearly dispose of My things either by means of eBay sales, giving away or simply throwing them out. As mentioned before, I had asked T to advocate for me and the return of that one thing. But that was too big of an ask. It was the Only thing that I wanted to remember P by, and I felt that this music box was not too big of an ask for all that had happened over the summer.

    I was wrong.

    I found out.

    This sort of the beginning of where my desire to ‘have feelings’ regarding 'The Family' was burned away.

    The preceding is just a but VERY SMALL portion of background of my Hatred for ‘The Family.’  ‘The Family’ that is now L1.

                Over the course of T's and my ‘Covert Ops’ CIA spook, NSA, Area 51, Burn eyes after reading, Nuclear waste toxicity level of communications I began to feel bullied by our talks. T seemed hell bent on convincing me of many things not the least of which is the Stock Market purchase thing. It was seemingly very difficult for T to understand my level of poverty that drove me to slowly, incrementally draw down and eventually fully divest my interest in the 'Stock Market thing'. There were several things that T harangued on me about that just made me feel bullied. I do not even recall the most of them anymore such is my desire to forget all about all of this.

                I do not wish to make T feel poorly but this next bit must be said. I believe that I am T's dirty little secret. As mentioned before T's ‘Covert Ops’ secret. You are afraid even unto and even after death of L1, as is everybody in ‘The Family.’ And even those that want to have nothing to do with L1, her son C and her daughter A2 but are still afraid of L1. You won’t even pass along a simple word document or email to My daughter A1, I don’t even know her last name, because if L1 ever found out L1 would, if you were still living excommunicate as she has me, and you fear that, and even if you were dead you would feel sufficiently badly enough that it prevents you from simply forwarding an email. Too much of a ‘paper trail.’ I do not appreciate the one-sided nature of this ‘friendship’. I do not imagine you appreciated being B’s dirty little ‘fuckbuddy. This is how I feel in our current 'friendship'. It was so difficult for me to witness that shit between T and B as was the shit with M. The years of hiding T and using T and betraying T. I was heart breaking to watch T chase after them. But T managed to rise up after and be done with them. That is how I am feeling now. I am rising up and shedding all the shitty raiment of that time. I no longer miss ‘The Family.’ I know it un-Christian of me, but I actively wish L1 et al misfortune. Lisa deserves more misfortune in her life.

 

 

I understand and appreciate T's efforts to make me whole on my family fortune that P Stole from me. I say Stole, not to be hurtful but because I can not think of any other word that adequately describes it. Just a little shy of Half a million dollars. T can NOT understand the depth of embarrassment, resentment and hurt that is wrapped up in the theft. My father worked DAMNED hard for that money My mother paid for it and so did I. He left sufficient money behind upon his passing for my mother to live a lavish lifestyle. A lifestyle that she deserved and had a great deal left over for me. I feel the bite and sting of that shame every time we talk about money or politics at any level. For me to have pissed it away on ‘The Business’ and on whatever P did with the $300,000 that I simply gave her, based simply on her word and my belief that she was an honest and honorable woman. account. If as you contend, the passed/dead are looking down on us, I KNOW that my Father is FURIOUS, FUMING, IRATE even unto getting him 'disbarred' from heaven. I was such a disappointment to my father while he lived, and I continued that trend long after he passed. Even after I was roped into the Fuck-off situation, that nearly drove me insane, that was J-W. P was Much more concerned with R’s and J-W’s safety, health and well being than mine. For years she shielded herself from me by using R, J-W and ‘The Business’ as shields. After my mother passed P was not even the least bit concerned with my grief because J-W was in a jam. A jam that could EASILY have waited for months or even years to be resolved. And yet P roped D-P. and I into moving J-W in with P and myself. P and I were not doing so very well in our relationship at this time. But that did not matter in the least to P. But P dismissed my grieving and our relationship in favor of helping poor Stupid Impossibly Ill-equipped to deal with life J-W And then there was R.

I know it un-Christian, uncharitable but I am NOT the least bit upset that L1 lost the GV house. To put a much finer point on it I am happy, Very Happy, about it. I will be made happier still when I learn, if I learn, that JW is dead. On that day I will surely drink an entire bottle of Champagne. In the one glass that I have left of the pair that I did have left after J-W manage to break its mate. The pair of glasses that your sister and I had used for so many years. The glasses are now irreplaceable because the manufacturer no longer makes that pattern. I have looked everywhere for a replacement. I have a reminder in my eBay account to alert me should one ever popup. And on that day, I believe I will smash that glass as well.

Hindsight is a real Bitch. When the hurt of feelings is finally burned away, all that is left is the ‘Facts.’ Facts as you perceive them. And as it is oft said ‘Perception is reality.’ My reality. Before I launch into the diatribe that is to follow, make no mistake that I have VERY, VERY, VERY MUCH embarrassment and shame regarding my life with P and how I treated her. As I do with all the fine women that have been in my life. But my reality is that P took me for financial ride. I wonder how hard P is laughing in heaven. And now I am living the aftermath of that ride. Now T and T's Family; what used to the ONLY family I had, after my mother’s passing, have cast me out and now I am excummunicado. I have long wondered how L1 has explained-away my excommunication to ‘The Family.’ I imagine it was so very easy for her; “SC was an AssHole in sheep’s clothing”. ‘WE DON’T,’ and by ‘We’ I mean the whole of the 'Family'. That means anyone that L1 knows that doesn’t want to be excommunicated away and uses my name as a third-rail touch-stone of evidence to all as to what happens when ANYONE who dares crosses L1, communicate with him any longer. Even my daughter A1,Under penalty of ‘Family’ death. L2 also, how has she explained Grandpa SC’s death? Did I die shortly after P? Did I die of Heart break, which would have been the gracious way but I don’t believe that about Lynn any longer, suicide, motorcycle accident or did my name simply drift away like so of a fart in a hurricane and my name was simply never mentioned again. I am a nobody. I am worse than a nobody. Not even CH would talk to me. I had the occasion to talk to him very briefly a very time ago. He was evasive, clearly uncomfortable talking to me and clearly wanted to disconnect the call as soon as was ‘politely’ possible. It was nice of him to be that polite. At the end of the call, he made it very clear that we would never talk again. I have NO Family. I am a total cast away. I am just so much jetsam in the wake of ‘The Family’s comings and goings, became L1’s comings and goings became "The Family's' comings and goings after T's mother and P died. Hell, T is nothing more than free labor in L1’s eyes. Need to move, call T. You are scarcely more than a nuisance to L1. You are less than afterthought to L1. Oh, Crap L1 forgot to invite T, Again. Surely you know this.

    K the gentleman who L1 cast out who took his time, money, energy and love for L1 as I recall it cost him $5,000 and had a headstone commissioned and placed on L1's much beloved brother's then to fore unmarked grave. The One that caused such a furious furore at Christmas that one year. P and T's mother L committed the ultimate act of back stabbing betrayal by inviting K to Christmas day and dinner. There was front yard yelling and screaming and cursing,  face slapping, the two-year-old-esque tantrum that L1 pitched. Fuck, I wonder what  have befallen T had she committed that DEFCON 1, World WarIII level of a shitstorm on Christmas Day? I imagine that T would have been immediately ejected unceremoniously from the festivities and would have been written out of everybody’s will

Race Relations - Music

     I was consuming some reaction type videos today. A reaction to the Song/Video "Black Betty". I believe that this song wouldn't have made it out of the studio and onto Vinyl or into the digital ether today because of the Obvious Racial implications. This a Great song. This song gets pulled out and dusted off when ever there is an action sequence in a movie where things go Right off the Rails. "The Losers" is just one such movie. [This is a clip where someone dusted "Black Betty' off to show some crazy shit happening] 

    "The Losers" is a great movie bye the bye, I recommend checking it out. When I say Great I don't mean in the Osky [Osky being my way of indicating my lack of respect for the oscar award.] Award Winning style, I mean Fully Unhinged Fun Action type of Great. Just like "Dead Pool" is a Great Movie. The actors in any of the "Dead Pool" movies will never be awarded an Osky for their work in any of the DP movies. But to my way of thinking that means that "Dead Pool" is All the Better For it. "Dead Pool" is clearly not and Clearly and Happily Not hamstrung by all the Bureaucratic Bull Shit that typifies Holly Woke movies today. See the calamitous Bull Shit that is the Disney's and their 'Star' Ratchet Zeitgeist attempt to KILL Snow White. [I call her Ratchet Zeitgeist be cause if there was every anyone who was ever FURTHER from any understanding of society it is Ratchet Zeitgeist]. To be sure there is SO much more bad press to be seen that there is good. Maybe this will prove to be THEE exception to the phrase "There is no such thing as Bad Press.

    [UPDATE: Now it seems that we have a contender for the Actor Most likely to Kill a Movie position currently held by Ratchet Zeitgeist. Perhaps they have paid Anthony Mackie to say these things to take the heat off of the impending release of the not so Snow White movie. But Fuck Me, this is, what is the phrase "Over the Pail". But comparing this to over the pail is like equating the Flooding of the Mississippi River to Jack and Jill's pail. Back when the Mississippi wasn't running dry.]

                                   I hope it but I doubt it.

    Ok so the Oskys used to be an award show that people watched so that they could stand around the 'water cooler' the next day and feel informed and also to root for their favorite. NOW the Osky's is just a bunch of rich beyond the dreams of Avarice pricks preaching AT us the less fortunates about how the world Should be run according to their way of thinking. I don't know when the first actor took on the mantle of political activist. The first that I recall this happening was when Marlon Brando had a [NON-indian] woman collect his Osky as some sort of protest.

    But I digress. Again the song "Black Betty" could never even be imagined in today's world. But it did get me to consider the idea that idea that was proposed by this "South Park" episode where all of the kids are replaced by Cathleen Kennedy's pandering nonsense.

    What would happen if this song was titled "White Betty". Perhaps titled after Mrs. Betty White. I still think that "White Betty" wouldn't fly either primarily because Mrs. Betty White while very very funny was one "Wild and Crazy" Gal. Very politically incorrect back in her day. And she had such a squeaky clean character back on the Merry Tyler Moore show. But was it that squeaky clean? Was it really?. Most Funny people are not very politically correct. Tim Allen Denis Miller Jeff Foxworthy... This list, the list of the Blacklisted Black Balled goes on and on and on and on and on...

My stuff - Mother' Art

    My mothers art. 

    Now that I have discovered how to put picture files onto these pages I will try to put them here.

    My Mother was a prodigious artist. There was NO medium of art that she set her hand to that she did not Excel. My first memories of her art were of her oil painting. She did a very large portrait of my father in his Marine Corp Drill Instructor uniform and Campaign Cover. He looked every bit as Hard as A marine Corps Drill instructor should. Very Stern. Then when epoxy came commercially available the dabbled in that. She always kept her hand in clay work. One of the very first clay works was a sort of imaginative work. She called it an "Elf's House". She always seemed to be right on the forefront of what was artistic. When Alexander Calder was making Mobiles and Stabiles in the early '60's she was making great and glorious creations that could have hung in any art gallery anywhere in the world. One of her biggest and most glorious creations she gave to her friend because we were moving and this particular piece was not going to survive a move. I imagine that she simply gave away the rest over time. She was an amazing sculptress. She did sculptures of me throughout my life. When a friend of hers took an interest in her sculptures of me she started doing sculptures of all the neighborhoods kids. She did her friends kids for free the rest she began charging for her work. She charged the paltry sum of $100.00 for a life size full bust of the neighborhood kids. I could fill a full page describing her work. 

    She held an estate sale because she was moving from her large home to a one bedroom apartment. She told me of this impending sale and subsequent move. But for what ever damn stupid reason I did not take her seriously enough. Before I could arrive to collect those things that I might have wanted of hers the sale was well under way. I 'chose' to push it out of my thoughts much like you might push back getting a book report done until the very last minute. I was very prone to doing this very thing in school. I did one book report on the book "To Kill a Mockingbird". I really regretted having pushed that back. When I finally did read it I very much enjoyed the read and wished that I had more time to write a better report for that book.

This is an example of a Calder Stabile  This link is to some Calder Mobiles

    I don't have any of my mothers mobiles so I cant put up any pictures of those. They exist only in my mind now. 

Society - Feminisim

    Feminism

    These are my views on the most recent "Wave" of Feminism, what ever wave we are dealing with now. Fourth, Fifth, Sixth, what ever incarnation. And this wave is a Fuckin' Tsunami. And its not going to abate any time soon, I don't think.

    As I understand it Feminism started with the Industrial Revolution. Prior to this time there was a clear distinction between women's work and men's work. This nation was principally an Agrarian society. Except for the New England States. Men worked the farm fields and women cooked and cleaned and rose the children, Principally. Women's work was equal to the men's work in productivity benefit to the family. Women would spin thread and weave that thread into cloth and would cut and sew that cloth into clothing. and they were charged with cleaning and maintenance of that clothing. Which is where the stereotypes of watching underwear and darning socks came from. No easy thing to be sure. I point this out because when the industrial revolution came in factories in the cities would would spin thread and weave cloth and cut and sew that cloth into clothes. Suddenly and for all intents and purposes that took a woman's productivity and contribution to the family and turned that 'work' family contribution into a cost to the family. This is why women were often found smashing up industrial factory looms. This Sudden Industrialization of many hand work specialties was a systemic shock for society. It reduced or eliminated the need for skilled crafts people across a wide spectrum of skilled laborers work. Reducing pay and introducing very dangerous working conditions for everybody concerned, men, women and children. Grease Monkey.

    This was the apparently a forgotten fact from women's history This is apparently the first of the cumulative shocks to the Generational Memory of Women. It seems that the women of today are dealing with generations of Generational memory of oppression. It seems to be a close relative of the Generational Memory of Slavery that is so deeply in bedded in Black Culture. In bedded so deeply that a Ms. Jasmin Crockett will burn down and waste SO much time in a House-over-site Committee banging on yet again and again and again about Oppression and Slavery. Slavery that no Black person in America today has dealt with personally. Not her nor her parents is now nor has ever been a "SLAVE". Stories of Grand parents or by now Great Grand Parents. Survivors of the Holocaust share a similar Generational Memory 'condition'. These are is a Glaring examples of generational Memory.  

    Another part of the industrial Revolution that was a Boon for Women was the bicycle. This was an affordable form of transportation for women, and it let them leave the house and go into town. It was the beginning of trousers or slacks for women. Another of the bicycles benefits to 'the world' was that it brought improved roads to the landscape.

    I imagine that the women of the time were feeling both blessed by the industrial revolution and simultaneously cursed by it. The had the 'increased' freedom that a bicycle brought and the gaining mobilization of larger and larger groups of 'like minded' women. The began flexing their muscle in a number of ways. The Prohibition of booze was largely championed by pious woman. Women flexed their muscle as the Suffragettes. They fought and won the fight for the right to vote. This I believe was the beginning of the fight for "Equality". But the Suffrage movement from 1920's gathered a great deal of steam and as is apt to happen the issue of equality took on strange and in my opinion twisted dimensions. Just like the Legacy media of today has morphed into a Mouthpiece for what ever political agenda the owners of the media outlet deem worth while. CNN ushered in the 24 hour news cycle. And in order to be first often time facts were skimmed over and later found to be erroneous. But the speed at which the 'NEWS' was being Churned out there was no place for a retraction, and even if the retraction was published the 'Damage' had been done. The first of the story was the first impression and as we all kn ow 'First Impressions' are the lasting impressions. And Most importantly if there was 'No NEWS' that day they hired 'journalists' to create the NEWS often time out of thin air or even more often out of their ass.

     I said all that to say this, The Women's Liberation movement is hiring individuals to 'create' offenses against women that 'Need' to be addressed and 'Fixed'. But all too often these individuals are pulling these  issues and offenses out of thin air or again out of their asses. Clearly there are some issues that needed and do still need to be addressed. Sexual Harassment at work is clearly an issue. But there are women who's job it is to 'Find or Make Trouble' and in the most vitriolic manner possible get it into the "News' cycle. But women have harangued on about it to the point where men in industry are hesitant to hire women deeming them to be too problematic and are reluctant to work with women on a one one basis.

    Billy Graham had a rule about traveling alone. NEVER EVER Do it Not EVER AT ALL! If it weren't so horrible I would think that the muslim have it right by wrapping up their women in black KKK outfits.

    I said all that to say that women have seemingly 'Over Revved' the Woman's Equality Machine. The Me Too movement, while important, has had what is commonly referred to as Unintended Consequences.

    If you swing the Pendulum far enough and hard enough to make an immediate difference the pendulum will swing way past the intended target and the intended result. The Me Too is a prime and probably the most glaring example of this. We can blame Harvey Weinstein for this. Now a days it takers nothing to offend those who are actively "Looking" to be offended. Many women have consumed the "Cool Aide" and are VERY WARY. And there are clearly people in the world and the workplace looking to be offended. Then there is a Gigantic HR Nightmare to unravel. And more and more men's lives and livelihood's are being destroyed by hyper offendable women in the workplace. These have a point to make and they don't care who they get "canceled" doing it. And the unfortunate reality Men are coming out the losers in this "Game". It is some what of a meme joke but but there are more women who are home owners now than there men homeowners because of a phenomenon called divorce. This is in my opinion a by-product of the atmospherically high divorce rate.

    The bottom line is that Society is unraveling before our very eyes. What used to be Playfully called "The Battle of the Sexes" has spiraled WAY out of control and morphed into all out Global Thermo Nuclear WAR. And I think we can ALL Agree that NO ONE Wins in that game.