I have a cold

    I have a cold.

    Its been about three years since I have been even a little sick. On the hole I am a pretty healthy person. I have the typical .177 caliber morning sinus salvo. In general when I get a cold it starts in my throat. A sore throat for a couple days and if it progresses past that it becomes a head cold. Generally dies off in about 5 days. If it makes it past that it slowly slides back down my throat into my lungs. If it gets that far it generally hangs in for a couple weeks. And when it gets this far it generally involves my lungs, coughing up all manner of chunky and creamy lung butter, sweaty coughing fits that last several minutes. With all of that coughing comes a second round of sore throat business and with all of that coughing and sore throat comes lots of sinus involvement as well. The whole package. Like I mentioned before I am prone to the morning .177 caliber morning sinus salvos. But when everything is involved well the caliber of morning sinus salvo ratchets up a bit, typically into the .223 caliber range with the occasional .30-06 round. This morning I was treated to a genuine .50 caliber BMG round. It nearly blew the nose cloth out of my hands. In times like this nose paper just doesn't stand up to that kind of fire-power. It's sort of shooting Pumpkins with a 12 gauge shot gun at close range. I was truly astounded. It felt like a depleted uranium round. And with all of the nose blowing comes dried out sinuses and nose bleeds and bloody goop slimming down the back of my tongue and into my throat.

 

    Yippy!