I woke up with a portion of a song title rattling around in my head. I am not a big deal song aficionado kind of person who knows all the songs and all the lyrics of every song I have ever heard in fact most songs I hear on the radio I only know the "Weird Al" versions to anyway.
So any way as I was getting to this first part was ratting around in my head… "People living in competition…"
It took me a few minutes laying there to figure out that the next line was… "I don't care if I get behind"
I could hear, far off in the distance the rest of that line… but could not quite get a handle on it.
Another half hour or even a shorty sleep cycle I figured out that the remaining pertinent bit was… "All I want is to have some peace of mind."
Boston tune I think.
Later in the day I "Quit", for the first time in my life, a job of sorts. It wasn't a real job really more like a Mercy Fuck only I was getting fucked and not in the way that I might could like. This "job" was costing me just about as much as it was paying. I was buying the tooling and the materials and spending time there for free when I could have been working at another much more lucrative place. I broke a tool, that I bought, my last.
It snapped and so did I.
Wow I didn't expect to feel so crappy about it after the fact. I felt like such a failure, such a looser. The Voices in my head kept shouting to get back there and apologize for my momentary lapse in sanity and beg for that job back. It's one of three that I am working… now two. It was a situational thing, nothing to do with the guy I was working for ... he is a good guy. In fact I wish I could still work for him weekends or something.
That "job" was robbing me of all my peace of mind.
Now a little less.
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